Live and Let Live – Set 1 – 2017

#1

Teacher: Africa Mein Aise Mulk Bhi Hain
K Wahan Khane Peene Ka Kuch Nahi,
Bijli Gas Oil Bhi Nahi.
Pehenne Ke Kapre Bhi Nahi Hain.
Bacha: Sir Kya Wahan Bhi
.
.
.
PPP Ki Hukomat Hai? 🙂

—– —
#2

How Altaf Hussain’s Political Career Can Be Destroyed?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Don’t Pick Up The Phone.

—– —
#3

Raja Pervaiz Ashraf:
Yaar Mujhey Mother’s Day Pe koi Message Kyon Nahi Aaya?
Secretary: Sir, Pakistan me Jab Light Jati Hai,
Log Aap ki Maa ko hi Yaad Karty Hain. 🙂

—– —
#4

Ae Watan Ke Sajeele Syasat-dano
Sare Raqbaye Tumare Liye Hain
Kotthiyon Ke Talabgar Ho Tum
Plaaton Ke Paristar Ho Tum
O Zalalat Ki Zinda Misalo
Saray jhagrray tmhare lhye hen,
Tum Hi Se Qaim Budget Ka Khasara
Loot k khao ab khoon hamara,
Aey Jahanum k zinda nishano,
Sare Funds Tumare Liye Hain
O Pak Watan Ke Ghaddaro
O America Ke Wafadaro
Ye jitni b hen is jahan me,
Tamam Laanaten Tumare Liye Hain…

—– —
#5

Punjab Convention ki Kamyaabi k baad MQM k leaders k Naye Naam:
Choudry Haider Abbas Rizvi
Faisal Butt Subzwari
Rauf Gujjar Siddiqui
Mian Farooq Sattar
Shaikh Waseem Akhtar
Rana Babar Gouri
Syed Mustafa Kamal Gillani. 🙂

—– —
#6

Asif Zardari ne Islmabad Main
Nawaz sharif k sath mil ker Coca Cola pi
Aur Nawaz Sharif ne kaha:
Judge kub Bahal Hongay?
To Zardari ne Kaha:
.
.
.
Brrrrrrrrr. 🙂

—– —
#7

The People of Poland are Observing
A 7-Day Mourning for the Tragic Death of their President.
May ALLAH Bless Us With the Same Opportunity.
Aameen. 🙂

—– —
#8

Teacher: Batao Saal Me Kitne Mausam Hote Hain?
Student: Sir 4 Mausam.
Teacher: Kaun Kaun Se?
Student: Hartaal, Election, Imtehanaat, Hungame.;-)

—– —
#9

Just Imagine
Sara Palin Divorce Hr Current Hubby & Get Marriage With Zardari.
Palin Becomes Vice President Of USA
Then Zardari Kills Palin & Change The Will & Which Says:
‘Zardari Will Become The Next President Of USA After My Death’
And Eventually Zardari Becomes President Of US.
After 6 Months Of Palin’s Death:
Bilawal Changes His Name To
‘Bilawal Bhutto Palin Zardari’
Then US Will Be Ours. 🙂
Geo Zardari.

—– —
#10

Zardari Insaan Ka Bacha Hai.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.
April Fool. 🙂

—– —
#11

Hamein to Apno Ne Loota.
Gairoun Main Kahan Dam Tha!
Roti, Kapra Aur Makaan Ko To Choro…
Raat ‘Lotay Main Paani’ Bhi Kam Tha.

—– —
#12

Lo G!
Pakistan Mai Cheeni, Aatay,
Ghee, Bijli
Aur Deegar Ashiya K Baad Ab
.
.
.
.
Admit Cards Ka Bohran Bhi Hogaya.
Geo Pakistan.

—– —
#13

Bilawal: Dad 2 Sal Hogye Humen Miskeen Hoe,
Mama K Qatilon Ka Q Pata Nai Chala?
Zard@ri: Beta Abi Tk To Miskeen Ho,
Qatil Ka Pata Chala To Yateem Bhi Ho Jao Gey. 🙂

—– —
#14

Ab Aap Aaram Se DEFENCE Mai 1 Bangla Khareed Sakte Hain
Apne Lye 1 MERCEDES CAR
Or
DUBAI Me Shoping B Kar Saktay Hain
Kyo K
.
PETROL Mai
64 Paise Jo Kam Ho Gaye Hain. 🙂

—– —
#15

I Studied Everything But Never Topped,
And Today the Toppers of the Best Universities are My Employees.
(Bill Gates)
Neither I Topped Nor I Studied Anything,
But today I’m the Prospective President of Pakistan.
(Asif Ali Zardari)

—– —
#16

Knowledge of the Week:
Afghanistan Wahid Mulk hai Jis main Train nahi Chalti.
Dunya main Sab se bara School CHICAGO America Main hai.
Dunya main Pehla operation GREECE k Doctor HYRO FILS ne Kya.
Dunya main sab se Bara Hospital BAGHDAD IRAQ main hai.
Dunya main barey se bara DARAKHT LONDON main hai.
Dunya main sab se Barri MASJID ISTANBOL-TURKEY Main hai.
Dunya main Bhaghair Aatay, Cheeni or Bijli k Log PAKISTAN main Rehte hein. 🙂

—– —
#17

1. Qaid Mazar
2. Badshahi Masjid
3. Minar-e-Pakistan
4. Geo Channel
5. Killa Kehna Kasim (Multan)
6. Faisal Mosque
.
.
.
7. Zardari
He He He He. 🙂

—– —
#18

If you Built an Army of 100 Lions and
Their Leader is a Dog,
The Lions Will Die Like Dogs.
But If you built an Army of 100 Dogs and
Their Leader is a Lion,
All Dogs will Fight Like Lion.
Leadership Matters…
A Silent Msg for All Pakistanis.

—– —
#19

Meaning Of Pakistan:
P: Pyaar
A: Aman
K: Khushhaali
I: Insaaf
S: Security
T: Taraqqi
A: Aazadi
.
.
.
N : Not Available Here! 🙂

—– —
#20

Petrol Prices are Reduced By 0.64 Rs/Liter.
Hum Zardari Sahab K Behad Shukar Guzaar Hain.
Ab Is Se Jo Bachat Hogi,
Us Se Hum Committee Daal Kar 1 CHINTU Candy Khareedengy. 😛

—– —
#21

Ñ?æ?I XI Å5æ?FO L4ÅT /KAæ4T)?æ&ÅæÑLØæG? ÑøÄF ?Ñæ? æÉ .
Aap ko Samjh Nahi Aayega!
Choudry Shujaat Ka sms hai.
Keh Raha hai
Sheeday k Saath Dhandli Hui Hai.

—– —
#22

My Name Is Khan
And I’m Not A Terrorist.
Ki Shandaar Kamiyabi K Baad Ab Paish Hai.
.
.
.
.
My Name Is Zardari,
and I’m Not A DOG. 🙂

—– —
#23

Altaf Hussain ko 1 Jin Mila,
Usne Jin se Kaha,
‘Meri Dili Khwahish ha k Tum Saray Sindhiyo ko Sindh se nikal Do.’
Jin Replied:
Bhao Maa Urdu na Samjhndo Aahyan. 🙂

—– —
#24

Best Mitti Paleed Award of year 2010
Nominees are:
Pathan,
Sardar,
Faraz,
But
Award Goes To,
Smiling Dog.
Samajh To Gaye hongy Aap! 🙂

—– —
#25

MUSHARRAF v/s JAMHURIAT
Mshrf: Aata Rs.13
Jmhryt: 35
M: Sugar 21
J: 65
M: Milk 32
J: 48
M: Bike 32000
J: 47000
M: AC 20000
J: 35000
M: Stock Market 16000
J: 9000
M: US $ 60
J: 84
M: GST 11%
J: 16%
M: Tax on call 15%
J: 19.5%
M: Bijli Pani Gas Wafar.
J: Na Bijli, na Pani, na Gas.
M: Bijli, Gas Sasti
J: Bijli menhgi, Gas Menhgi.
Wah wah Jamhoriat.
Kya Faida Aisi Jamhoriat Ka?
Spread this Msg As Much As you can.

—– —
#26

KHADIM-E-AALA PUNJAB:
Rai Wind ka Residence: Area 25000 Canal
11 Sugar Mills
15 Industrial Estates of just Rs.2900 Millions
Ex-Pakistan Property:
London/UK 20 Flats, Approximate value of Rs.30 Billions.
Steel Mill & Residences in Saudi Arabia, Istanbul, Dubai & Spain: Cost 1.30 Billion USD.
KHAADIM-E-AALA Ki Residece ka Budget.
270 Milions, 1766 Officers & Servants Salaries 190 Million,
5 BULLET PROOF CARS Rs.200 Million
Phir Bhi Khadim-e-Aala?

—– —
#27

Hamare to Dono Kuttay He Bekaar Nikle FARAZ…
.
.
.
.
Ek Se Mulk Nahin Sambhalta
Dosre Ko Bomb Nahin Milta..!
####
(./)
/ ‘ ) ‘^—-;’;
,,/'( , , )
// //
Menu Dasu 80 ki Kamaya?
Musharraf Gaya Zardari Aaya,
Bas Khotay Naal Khota Wataya. 🙂

—– —
#28

Ab to Dukan Par Bhi Ye Board Lagay Hain FARAZ.
Cheeni Maang Kar Sharminda Na Karain.
Cheeni Ek Jang Hai, Isi Liye Band Hai.
Namak Baray Shoq Se, Cheeni Aglay Chock Se. 🙂

—– —
#29

Pakistani Movies Flop Kyon Hoti Hain?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because Jo Actors Hain,
Woh Hakoomat Sanmbhal k Bethay Hain. 🙂

—– —
#30

Bin Tumhare Zindgai Mai
Dard Hai,
Ruswayi Hai,
Tanhai Hai,
Laut K Aa Jao SHERI REHMAN
Ye Kaisi Bewafayi Hai.
(WILLIAM ZARDARI)

—– —
#31

Teacher: Agar Lion ki Jaga
Kutta Jungle Ka Baadshah Hota To Jungle Ka Kiya Haal Hota?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Student: Wohi Jo Aaj Kal Pakistan Ka Haal Hai. 🙂

—– —
#32

Ek Kutta Akarr Kar Chal Raha Tha.
Ek Haathi Ne Pucha Oye Kyon Akarr K Chal Raha Hai?
Kutta Ghussay Se Bola:
Tujhe Pata Nahi Hai?
Hamaray Baap Ki Hukumat Hai. 🙂

—– —
#33

Bhutto Ka Farmaan:
Roti, Kapra Aur Makaan.
Zardari Ka Ailaan:
Goli, Kafan
Aur
Seedha Qabrustaan. 🙂

—– —
#34

Suna Hai Tumhari Ek Nigah Se Log Qatal Hotey Hain Faraz.
.
.
.
.
Ek bar Nawaz Shareef Ko Bhi Dekh Lo, Meharbani Hogi. 🙂

—– —
#35

Agar KUTTAY ko Coat Pant Pehna Diya Jaye to Usay Kya Kahenge?
.
.
.
Bewaqoof!
Kutta He Kahenge.
Lekin Jo Aapne Socha Woh Bhi Theek Hai. 🙂

—– —
#36

Dunya ki Sabse Taqatwar Cheez Hai Loha
Har Cheez Kaat Deta Hai
Lohe Se Taqatwar Hai Aag
Jo Lohe Ko Pighla Deti Hai
Aag se Taqatwar Hai Pani
Jo Aag ko Bhuja Deta Hai
Pani Se Taqatwar Hai Hawa
Jo Pani ko Ura le Jati Hai
Hawa se Taqatwar Hai
INSAAN jo Hawa ko Qaboo Kar Leta Hai
Insan se Taqatwar Hai
Pareshani jo Insan ko Qabo Kar Leti Hai
Pareshani se Taqatwar hy SADQA
Jo har Pareshani ko Kha Jata Hai
AUR In SABSE TAQATWAR Hai ‘Z@rdari’
JO SADQA BHI KHA JATA HAI. 🙂

—– —
#37

Dozkah Main Darogha k Khoff Se
Sary Gunhagar Eemandari Se Apne Apne Gunah Paper Pe Likh K Hall Se Ja Rahy Thay.
K Achanak
Ek Aawaz Aai:
‘EXTRA SHEET KHAPPAY’

—– —
#38

Ek Aadmi Doosre Se:
Bhai ye Khushiyan Kya Hoti Hain?
.
.
.
.
.
Doosra Aadmi: Pata Nahi Bhai!
Meri Khud Paidaish Pakistan Ki Hai. 🙂

—– —
#39

During Survey
Yousaf Raza Gilani To Man: P.P.P Ki Hakomat Ne Aapko Kya Diya?
Man:
HA HA HA
HA HA HA
HA HA HA
HA HA HA
Moral By Yusaf Raza Gilani:
Dekha Awam Hum Se Kitni Khush Hai.

—– —
#40

Woh Konsa KUTTA Hai, Jis ki DUM Kati Hui Hai,
Phir Bhi Dosray KUTTO Se Ziyada ZEHRILA Hai.
.
NO
WRONG ANSWER
.
.
LALIT MODI
(IPL Chairmain India)
Please Forward MAXIMUM.

—– —
#41

Roti, Kapra Aur Makaan Keh Kar Aaye Thay Faraz…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Cheeni, Aata Aur CNG Bhi Le Gaye.
G.A Bhutto
Rajj K Lutto. 🙂

—– —
#42

Pakistan Mein Itni Mehangaai
Bad Amni
Aur
Hangama Aaraai
K Bawajood
Ager Aap
Pur Sukoon Aur
Pur Aman
Pakistan Dekhna Chahte Hain
Tou
.
.
P.T.V Lagayen 😉

—– —
#43

Dunya Chaand Per jane K Liye Beytaab Hai.
Hum Khush-Naseeb Hain k Zameen Per Rehty Huey Chaand Ka Maza Le Rahy Hain
Ye PAKISTAN Nahi CHAAND ka Tukra Hai
Aur Chaand Per
Na Light Hoti Hai,
Na Paani, Na Gas,
Na Aata, Na Cheeni,
So plz No Tension,
Enjoy Your Life on Moon.

—– —
#44

Ye Watan Pe Apni Jaan Kya Denge,
Ye Log Waqt Pe Imtehan Kya Denge,
Jo Khud Ghulam Hon America K,
Woh Roti Kapra Aur Makaan Kya Denge.

—– —
#45

Tarraqi Yafta Mumalik k Masle:
Pollution
Global Warming
Hyper Tension
Public Health
Alternative Fuel
Forest and Trees
Green House Gases
U.V Rays
Ozone Layer
Hamarey Masle:
Aata, Cheeni, Bijli,
Gas, CNG, Daal, Pani,
Bills, Corruption.
Kal Bhi Aur Aaj Bhi.

—– —
#46

Ding Dong Remix:
Ik KUTTA Mochun Wala Tha,
Jo Mazy Se Mulk Ko Khata Tha,
Ding Dong, Ding Dong
KUTTAY Ne JaiL Mae Socha K,
Bibi Ko Dengey Dhoka,
Aur Bibi Ko Marain Gay GoLi,
Or Khayengey Mazy Se Mulk Ko,
Ding Dong, Ding Dong
Per Supreme Court Barri Siyani Thi,
Aur KUTTAY Ki Shamat Aani Thi,
NRO Ko Nikaal Diya,
Aur KUTTAY ko PATTA Daal dia,
Phr Qoam ne Gaya Yehi Song,
Ding Dong , Ding Dong

—– —
#47

Admissions Open.
Zardari Institute Of Corruption & Management (ZICM)
Offers Degrees In,
MSc: (Masters in Social Crimes)
M.I.T: (Masters In Theft)
M.C.S: (Masters in Corruption Sciences)
Also 6 Month Diplomas In,
10% Commission Management
Advanced Robbery
Safe Account Transferring
Advance Corruption Techniques
Extended Lectures By,
Prof Dr Asif Ali Zardari. 🙂

—– —
#48

New Year ka Pehla Day (Strike),
New year ka Pehla Gift
‘Gas ki Qeemat Mai 18% Izafa’
Pehly Bomb se mar rahay thay ab Bhook Se Marengey.
Aakhr kub tak Bardasht Karengy?
Kub tak?
Kia PAK PAKISTAN isi liye Bana tha?
Kia AZAADI isi liye hasil ki thi??
‘KHUDARA AB TO JAG MUSALAMAN’
Nahi Chahiye Hume Aisi GOVT.

—– —
#49

American Citizen:
Hum Log Ghar ki Rakhwali k Liye KUTTA Rakhte Hain.
Pakistani Citizen:
Ye Konsi Bari Baat Hai.
‘Humne To Pure Mulk k Liye Rakha Hua Hai.’ 🙂
####
(./)
/.’.)’^—-;’;_
,,/'( Z )
// //
8, 10 Chitthar Maar Kar Fwd Kar Dain.
Naam Na Lena.
Awaam Khud Samajhdar Hai. 🙂

—– —
#50

Jaldi T.V Lagao Zardari Ko Maar Diya Hai.
Sheeren Rehman Ki Adaaon Ne. 🙂