Jokes – Set 11 – 2017

#1

aj apko ek nihayat muffeed cheez sikhatay hain…
bardasht..

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#2

arz kia hai
Dil mai chubi sui
Dil mai chubi sui
Dil mai chubi sui
Dil mai chubi sui
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oui oui oui oui oui oui oui oui

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#3

aaj tumharey liye dil main pyar,
tum hi layi meri zindagi main bahar,
kabhi na hona mere dil se farar,
wishing u love BAAR-BAAR!

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#4

DEHATI HUSBEND N WIFE
HUS- MUJAY TO SUBHA SHER KI ADDAT HAI
BV- AUR MUJE BHI
HUS- MUJE SABJI PASSAND NAHI SREF GOSTH ACHA LAGTA HAI
BV BILKOL MARE BHI YAHI ADDAT HAI KAMMAL HOGAYYA TU TO
MERA BHAI NIKLA
HUS – NIKHA TOT GAYYA
AB MOLVE SAY POCHNA PARAY GA
MOLVE- KOFARRA DAYNA PARAY GA
GARIB THA UDHAR LAY KAR ADDA KIYA
OR BITHA SOCHNAY LAGA K YA KIYA HOWA
BV_ JO HONA THA HO GAYYA BAS
HUS- KAMINE PHER AGGAI CHERNE APNE BAAP KO DAFA HOOO

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#5

Ek Bacha paida hoty he nurse sy boola..!
Mobile hia kia
Nurse.. Haan hai.. lakin tu kia kary ga..
Bacha.. khuch nahi bas God ko miss call karnii hai k main pohanch giya hon:-p:D

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#6

Ek kanjoos ka beta apni girl friend ke sath bahar ghum ke ghar
vapis aaya to kanjoos baap ne poocha :-
Kanjoos baap :kitne paise kharche
beta : 50
kanjoos baap : (in anger) 50 Rs
beta : papa kya karta uske pass 50 hi the

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#7

Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain
or wife Be-Gum ho jaat hai.

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#8

Population slogan in :LAHORE Hum Do Hamare Do, Unke Baad Jitne Bhi
Hon, Sabko KARACHI aur BALOCHTAN bhej do

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#9

Woh chham chham karke aayee
Aur chham chham karke chalee gayee
Main sindoor ka dibba lekar khada raha
Woh Rakhee bandh ke chalee gayee.

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#10

CHANDI RAAT MAIN SONAY SAY PHELAY
KHUWABO KI DUNIYA MAIN KHONAY SAY PHELAY
MAIN NAY SOCHA K TUM KO YAAD DILAO K
SU SU KAR LAY NA SONAY SAY PHELAY..

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#11

Is dil ko yeh gawara nani hota Inbox main koi sms tumara nahi hota
bhool kar hi koi sms kar dia karo Miscall par apna guzara nahi hota

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#12

DUNYA ME RAH KAR SAPNO MEIN KHO JAO
KISI KO APNA BANA LO YA KISI K HOJAOO
AGER COUCH NAHI HOTA TO DONT WARRY
CHADER TAKIYA LO AUR SOJAOOO
‘GUD NIGHT’

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#13

Woh choom lain aik bar to aati nahi neend,
unki awaz suntay suntay raat jati hai beet,
is liye kehta hoon yeh risk na uthao,
‘MORTIEN JALAO MACHAR BHAGAO’

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#14

DIL SE AAPKA KHAYAL JATA NAHI
AAPKE SIVA KOI YAAD AATA NAHI
HARAT HAI ROZ DEKHU AAPKO
PAR KAMBAKHT MADARI AAPKO ROZ LATA NAHI

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#15

YAADON ME DHUNDO HUME.
DIL ME HUM BUS JAYENGE
TAMANNA HO AGAR MILNE KI
TO ON KARO MOBILE
INBOX ME HI MIL JAYENGE……………..

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#16

Abey Oye egg k chhilke!
Aam ki gutthli!
Sadey hue bengan!
Ublay hue aaloo!
Murghi k choozay!
Africa k bandar!
Aisa kisi ko na bolo, feel hota hai yaar!

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#17

Bhul kar bhi kisiko na rulana
Zindagi me sabko hasana
Dushmano ko bhi gale lagana
Fir bhi koi gam de to phone lagana
TAPKA DENGE SAALE KO

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#18

Abhi shaadi ka pehla hi saal tha,
Khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,
Khushiyaan kuchh yun umad rahin thi,
Ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi..
Subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana
Thoda sharmate huye humein neend se jagana,
Wo pyaar bhara hath hamare baalon mein phirana,
Muskurate huye kehna ki..
Darling chai to pi lo, Jaldi se ready ho jao, Aap ko office bhi hai jaana.
Gharwali bhagwan ka roop le kar aayee thi,
Dil aur dimag par poori tarah chhayee thi,
Saans bhi lete they to naam usee ka hota tha,
Ik pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha..
5 saal baad……..
Subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana,
Table par rakh kar jor se chillana,
Aaj office jao to munna ko
School chodte hue jana…………..
Suno ek baar phir wohi awaaj aayi,
Kya baat hai abhi tak chhodi nahi charpayee,
Agar munna late ho gaya to dekh lena,
Munna ki teachers ko phir khud hi sambhaal lena..
Na jane gharwali kaisa roop le kar aayi thi,
Dil aur dimaag par kaali ghata chhayee thi,
Saans bhi le

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#19

GURBAT MITAO OFFER OF ALL GREEB CUSTOMER
easy tamam cutomers jo k nihiat gurbat ka shikar hain or un
k pass galti se mobile fone or connection hy un k liye speacail
offer hy k wo iss number 0321-4939056 per MISS CALL kerain
or free BALANCE hasal kerain.
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NOTE:
yeh offer un hazrat k liye hy jin ka balance ZERO hy

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#20

Tajmahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka pota…
tajmahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka pota..
aaj hamara bhi bank balance hota agar dada diwana na hota!

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#21

Kaali ghata chayi hai,
aaj fir biwi se maar khayi hai.
Kehti hai sudhar jao.
Par meri galti nahi,
bajuwali aaj mini skirt mai aayi hai.. 😉

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#22

Good Mornin….
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Aaj ki taza
khabar
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Newspaper mein hai

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#23

WIFE:main maeke ja rhi han,te tenu talak de notis bhej dewangi.
HUSBAND: ja ja aive mithian-2 galan krke mainu khush karan
di koshishna kar

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#24

Ladkiyon ke college me strike thi Ladke bhi unke saath the
Ladkiyon ne naara Lagaya HUMARI MAANGE
Pichhe se awaaz aayi SINDHUR SE BHARO

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#25

Zindagi me sHaDi karna bahut zaroori hai..
Kyon ki..
Zindagi mein Khushiyaan hee sab kuch nahi hoti..

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#26

Aahat si koi aye to lagta hai ki tum ho
Hawa koi lehrayi to lagta hai ki tum ho.
Ab tum hi batao, kya tum kisi BHOOT se kam ho

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#27

Pagal Hain Who Log Jo Pyar Mein
Ladki Ko Miss Karte Hai,
Miss Hi Karna Hai to Machhar Ko
Karo Jo Bin Bulaye Kiss Karte Hain.s

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#28

Sardi Ho Gayi hain Haan, Naak
Bhi Band Hai Haan, Sir Bhi Fat
Raha Hai Haa Bah Haan! To Yeh
Must Padna Kya Zaruri Tha

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#29

Aik SARDAR nay apnay friend say pocha,,
‘Yaar teray UNDERWARE main sorakh hain ‘
Friend Reply!
‘No’
Sardar!
To tu apni tangain undar kesay ghussata hay

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#30

Kabhi Kabhi Chhoti Chhoti Cheezein Bhi Bohat Takleef Deti Hain…
Agar Meri Baat Par Yaqeen Nahi To…
Sui Par Baith Kar Dekhlo…….

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#31

Asli Bewkuf Ki 4 Nishanian
1.Seedhe Hath Mein Mob Pakry
2.Angothay Se Button Dabaye
3. Message Parh K Hansay
4. Soche K aur Kis Ko Send Krun

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#32

Kash tum BAKRa hote,
Main tum ko ghass khilata
or pyar se tumhare seengh pakarta
0r pochta…pagal kaun Tum ya Main r tum pyar se bolte Main Main;)

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#33

Zindgi bey hal hai,
Sur hai na tal,
Inbox bhi kangal,
Kia tumhari SMS factory main hartal hai .
Juldi say SMS bhajo mery mobile ki zindi ka sawal hai.

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#34

ES Dil Ka Kaha mano ek Kam Krdo..
EK benam c baat mere nam Krdo..
MERI zat pe faqt yeehsan Krdo..
GHAR se naha K niklo..
OUR poore muhalle Ko hairan krdo

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#35

Girl: Meri 2 baar Shaadi hoi lekin main kanwari ki kanwari hi rahi.
Boy: wo kaisay
Girl:Pehla shohar na-mard the aur dosra…
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Pathan

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#36

Husbnd: kal mery khawb may ek larki aye thi.Wahh! Kiya larki thi,
Wife: Akeli aye hogi Husbnd: tumko kaise pata
Wife: usska husbnd mere kawab mein tha…

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#37

Shaadi ka wada kia Perveen sewarna mohabat to thi Nasreen se
anjane main sab kehdia Sabeen se
kia haal hoa tha pocho Samreen se
ab ummeed hai sirf Noreen se
lekin baat banegi Farheen se
ya fir dekho Afsheen se
nahi to shayad Nosheen se
&hosakta hai k Naveen se
warna setting to apni haiMehreen se 🙂

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#38

pata hai GABBAR ne thakur ke haath kyo kaate the

kyo
socho
socho
kyonki
kyonki thakur GABBAR ko SMS nahi karta tha!!!
AB TERA KYA HOGA RE KALIYA…….
JO LOG MERE SAATH CHAT KARNA CHAHTE HO WO MUJHE MERI
ID PAR CHAT KARE……
MY ID:aswadsahigara

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#39

Ae dil kissi ki yaad mein rona fijul hai****
ye aansoo bade anmol hain inhe khona fijul hai****
royo to unke liye jo tum par nisaar hain****
unke liye kya rona jinke aashiq hazaar hain

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#40

Aap ek Mobile ki tarah ho,
khwab mein atey ho SMS ki tarah,
Dil mein bas jatay ho Ring Tone ki tarah;
Mohabbat aapki hai Network ki tarah,
hum ko bhool na jaana Balance ki tarah

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#41

Mulk ki bhi ek sarhad hoti hai,
Bacche ki bhi ek zid hoti hai,
aur kitna intezar karu tere sms ka,
arre yaar kanjosi ki bhi haad hoti hai..!

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#42

Gadha jo khaye wo Ghass ho tum,
Buddhe ka Chyawanprash ho tum
,Idiot stupid bakwass ho tum,
Per jo bhi ho yaar, Dost jhakass ho tum…

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#43

Girl of 1960 : Aye bahar hai jia bekarar hai
aja moray balma tera intezar hai.
Girl of 2008 : Aye bahar hai jia bekarar hai
aje moray balma warna dusra tayyar hai.

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#44

Tap-Ti Hoi Garmi Ki Loo hai Tu,
DosTi k Naam Pe aaaKh Thoo Hai Tu,
Aye Dost Tjhe Aur Kya Kahen,
ToiLet Pe ChiPka Hoa Goo hai Tu..

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#45

Woh aayi muskuraee,
usne kaha,humne suna,
woh kehti gayi hum sunte rahe,
woh chal di,humse raha na gaya ,
bas keh hi diya…
‘MADAM ATTENDENCE TO LAGA do.’

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#46

Momino !
Ramazan kareeb hai
Aap sab se request hai k apne mobile main save JOkes ,
Pic, girl friend’s k numbers
DELETE
Kerne se pehle mujhe forward karen
JAZAKALLAH

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#47

Kabhi Kabhi Meri Aankho mein Samaya Bhi Lgta hai,
Jo Apna hai Wo Paraya Bhi Lagta hai..
Tum se MiLne Ki Tamanna To Buhat Hai Lekin
Aney Janey mein Kiraya Bhi Lgta hai.

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#48

shayad barsih hone se pehla asmaan neela na ho,
shayad aandhi ane se pehla mausam peela na ho,
magar aisa to ho hi nhn sakta k tm soo ker utho
or
or
or
or
bed geela na ho

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#49

aik din aik farishta animals ko un ki zaat bata raha tha
Sher – Jutt
Cheeta – Malik
Haathi – Butt
Zebra – Niazi
Gadha – Sheikh
Gadha bola: oh bhai ji main khota he theek aan

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#50

Zindagi ka khel INSAN + ROTI+ CHAWAL + KHEERA
+ DAL+ CHOLE + KULCHA + PASTRY+ KUKKAR + DOSA
+ LICHI+ GULABJAMUN + BUISCUIT+ NAMKEEN+KAJU
+ BADAM + SAMOSA+ JALEBI+KHICHDI+ MAKKI KI ROTI
+ SAAG + PIZZA+ BURGER+ NOODLES+ CREAM ROLL
+ ALL TYPE OF KHANA –
AGE DUNIYA KI SACHAYI NEECHE KARO-
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IS EQUAL TO= TATTI – YEHI HAI ANDEKHA SACH