Comprehensive collection of General Jokes. The compilation includes some good quality text messages which can be shared on various messenger apps and social network platforms. Browse through nice repository of General Jokes with latest and new Jokes being added quite often. You will find some new, unique & interesting Jokes and messages. Explore best and rare collection of General Jokes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from General Jokes, the collection also includes Jokes in other categories.
How do you prevent a Summer cold
Catch it in the Winter!
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#2
How do you make an egg laugh
Tell it a yolk.
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#3
How do you make a hot dog stand
Steal its chair.
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#4
How do you make a blonde’s eyes sparkle
Shine a torch into her ear…
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#5
How do you make a blonde laugh on a Saturday
Tell her a joke on a Wednesday.
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#6
How do you know if your a red neck
You go to the family reunon to find a date!
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#7
How do you kill a circus
Go for the juggler !!
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#8
How do you catch an elephant
First you dig a big hole, and fill it with wood and ash. Then you take a loadof peas and line them up around the hole. Then, when the elephant goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash-hole!
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#9
How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America
They had reservations.
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#10
How do u get a lot of pikachus on a bus
Poke ’em on
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#11
How do u CUT roads By LAUGHING….. Because ‘Haste Haste Cut jaye Raste’
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#12
How do dinosaurs pay their bills
With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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#13
How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant
He forgot to wrap his whopper.
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#14
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying
His lips are moving.
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#15
How can you tell if a redneck is married
There is tobacco spit stains on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.
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#16
How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day
When she has a tampon behind her ear and can’t find her pencil
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#17
How can you get four suits for a dollar
Buy a deck of cards.
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#18
How are twisters (tornadoes) and marriage alike
They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end youlose your house.
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#19
Hospital consultant: ‘The woman in that bed is the love of my life.’
Matron: ‘Then why haven’t you married her ‘
Hospital consultant: ‘I can’t afford to – she’s a private patient.’
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#20
Honolulu – it’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother.
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#21
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
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#22
Honey, when we get married, I’ll be there to share all your troubles and sorrows.’ ‘But I don’t have any, my love.’ ‘I said, when we get married’
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#23
hindu-Papa jaldi-2 mera viya kra deo nahi ta main DAADI nal viya kra lavanga.FATHER:oye tu meri MAA nal viya krayenga.!Srdar:-kyo tusi meri MAA nal ni krayea
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#24
Hi, do you want to have my children No. …Okay, then can we just practice
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#25
Hi dude..I heard u got held up at gun point last night and the guy gave u 2 options. Suck his dick or die. Glad to hear ur alright man!!!
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#26
Here I sit in misty vapour in a shithouse with no paper
I have no time to sit and linger watch out asshole here comes finger.
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#27
Here I am! What are your other two wishes
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#28
Her IQ goes up.
hy’d the couple stop after 3 children Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.
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#29
Help Wanted: Telepath; you know where to apply.
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#30
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
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#31
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
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#32
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
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#33
Height of kanjoosi: A Sindhi’s house has caught Fire & he is giving Missed Calls to the Fire Station..!
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#34
Heer kahe Raanjhe se,
O Sun Mere raanjhnaa!
Heer kahe Raanjhe se,
O Sun Mere Raanjhnaa!
Jhuthe bartanon Ko Tum,
Ragad- Ragad Kar Maanjhnaa!
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#35
heello, iss tthhatt thhee sshhoop iii boouugghht thhee vviibbrrattorr ffrroomm. yes. ccaann yyoouu tteell mmee hhooww ttoo ttuurrnn tthhee ffuucckkiinngg tthhiinngg ooffff.
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#36
Heck is where people go who don’t believe in Gosh.
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#37
Headmaster: I’ve had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.
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#38
He: Janeman, is dil main chali aao.
She: Sandal nikaloon kya
He: Pagli, ye mandir nahi hai, aise hi aa jao…
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#39
He’s a graduate of The Uncle Fester & Keith Moon School of hair styling.
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#40
He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!
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#41
He who laughs last doesn’t get the joke.
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#42
He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend’s wife’s brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that.
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#43
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
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#44
He was more tense than Jesse Jackson on Father’s Day.
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#45
He was hairier than Chewbacca dipped in Rogaine.
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#46
He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.
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#47
He is not dead, he is electroencephalographically challenged.
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#48
He always finds himself lost in thought – it’s an unfamiliar territory
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#49
Have you seen Quasimodo I have a hunch he’s back!
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#50
Have you ever noticed… anybody going slower than you is an idiot. And anyone going faster is a maniac.
You can help to enrich this collection of General Jokes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection by writing in comments section and by providing nice ideas. This is Set 38 of General Jokes. In case of spelling mistakes, other issues report them in comments section. Share these messages on various messenger apps like whatsapp, allo, hike, telegram, skype, FB messenger and others.
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