Jokes – Set 48 – 2017

#1

Why’d the couple stop after 3 children Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.

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#2

When i Die , bury me deep Ten feet down fast as leep Place my Maths book on my head Tell my teacher that i am dead place my geography book on my chest Tell my teacher how i am at rest Place my physics in my right hand Tell my teacher nothing i understand

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#3

Whats the definitoin of suspicion A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field.

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#4

What’s the quietest place in the world The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

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#5

What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill A miracle.

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#6

What did the drummer get on his IQ test Drool…

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#7

What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love Honey, I’m home!

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#8

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, ‘Do you know how to drive this thing ‘

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#9

To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate
Samba: 1 k baad hi 2 aa sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se bada hai.
Gabar: 2, 1 se kitna bada hai
Samba: 2, 1 se 1 bada hai.
Gabbar: Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai
Samba: Sardar maine aapka n

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#10

Three Ways of fast Communication 1: Television 2: Telephone 3: Tell-a-women Gabbar: Basanti chaddi utar.

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#11

The short man was chased by 2 policeman coz he usually steal ‘FRENCH POLONY’, he ran to his home and hide into a babywalker.They knew that he he was there so checked the place until they give up.On teir way to the door they saw this baby in a babywaker t

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#12

Subjiwala: madam ye 500 kanote blouse se nikala hai kya Madam: hann par kaise laga Subjiwala: gandhiji ka muh
abhi bhi khula hua hai!

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#13

Son: Dad, what is an idiot Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can’t understand him. Do you understand me Son: No.

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#14

Russians dugg 100 meters and found copper cable and said that they had telephones 500 years ago
Americans dugg 200 meters and found optical fibre and said they had internet facility 1000 years ago. indians dugg 1000 meters and didnt find anything and sa

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#15

Ramlal, Bagwan say.Bahgwan mujhy dukh de,dard de,tension de, mujay pagal banady mery pachey kutty laga de.Bahgwan bat kat ker aby sale ek line mein kiyon nahee bolta tuj ko biwi chaie.

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#16

Life Paradox what u want u don’t get(luv), what u get, u don’t njoy(marriage), what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend), what is permanent is boring (wife)

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#17

I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

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#18

Husband touched boobs andsung: Piyo glass full doodh,wonderful doodh.Immediately wife touchedhis penis n said: Thanda
matlab CHOTA COKE!

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#19

How many men do you need for a mafia funeral Only one. To slam the car boot shut.

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#20

How do you breathe through that thing

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#21

GIRLS 1970: Jia beqraar hai aai bahar hai, aa ja moray baalma taira intzar hai
GIRLS 2006: Jia beqraar hai aai bahar hai, aa ja moray baalma WERNA DOSRA TIYAR HAI….

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#22

Friedship is just like wine..as it gets older it gets sweter..just like you and me..you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.

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#23

For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.

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#24

en tings go rong, wen tears flow 4rm ur eyes, wen sadness fills ur heart, plz inform me-coz my frnd sells tissues BUY ONE GET ONE FREE

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#25

Cute Good looking Easy to handle Cool Sexy Nice structure Its my mobile. How about your

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#26

BOY : May I hold your hand GIRL : No thanks, it isn’t heavy.

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#27

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

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#28

A story with moral My girlfriend called me to her house one day. I went there & found her sister alone in the house. She was unbelievably sexythan my GF. She whispered in my ear, ‘I have feelings for you, make love to me once’ I turned around & walked t

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#29

a man wanted sex from his wife, and a wife refused and said that she was tired and gave her husband 50bucks and said go buy from prostitutes.he came back and wife asked where did u buy from the husband said i bought from maNKOSI,the wife said yeses!!maNK

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#30

A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly The father says to him, don’t stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!

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#31

Viru: nahi Basantiin kutto ke samne chaddi mat utarna. Basanti: Viru dar mat maine chaddi pahni hi nahi hai…

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#32

Because they don’t have any. 1

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#33

There were two frnds Jo and Wo
One day Jo got scared and suddenly Wo died
Y did Wo die
Because Jo dar gya,
Wo mar gya

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#34

1st child-mere papa bhahut darpok hai.2nd child-kaise ist child-jab bhi road cross karte hai meri ungli pakad lete hai.

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#35

Ramu- In aalu ke paraathon me aalu nazar nahi aa rahe he!!
Shyamu- Yaar naam par mat ja, Kashmiri pulav me kabhi kashmir nazar aata he kya

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#36

Girlfriend – darling mera mobile recharge karwa do
boyfriend – darling main tera aashiq hun airtel walo ka jawai nhein.

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#37

Teacher – Kabir Ka Koi Doha Sunao.
Little Marwadi child answer – ‘Kabir Salo Bewkoof doha diyo Banaye, Khud to salo khisak gayo Manne diyo fasaye.

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#38

YOU ARE A BANDAR.MEANS;
B:Beautiful,
A:Attractive,
N:Naughty,
D:Diffarant,
A:And,
R:Respected.
oy jyada khus hone ki jarurat nahi hai ,Ho to bandar hi na!!!.

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#39

5 men with guns barge into KINGFISHER’S office and shout ‘ all girls lie down on da floor naked quickly’1 girl replied ‘ is it a robbery or our routine meeting

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#40

Premika-Me maa banne wali hu!!
Premi-R u mad
KAHANI ME TWIST:
Premika-Bakvas nhi,me tumhare baap se shadi karke tumari maa banne wali hu

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#41

Ik Gadha: Yaar mera maalik Lallu mujhe bahut maarta hai.
Doosra Gadha: To tu bhag kyo nahi jata
Pehla Gadha: Bhag to jaaun par vahan future bahut bright hai. Malik ki khubsurat beti jab sharat karti hai to vo usko kehta hai teri shadi kise gadhe se hi karunga. Bus isi umeed pe baitha hoon !!!!

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#42

Aik shakhs hospital main ro raha tha…
Pathan: ro keon rahay ho
Admy: Blood Test Krana ha
Ungly Katany paray ge….
Yeah sun k Pathaan bhe ronay laga…
Admy: Tum keon ronay lagay
Pathan: Main na Peshaab Test krana tha.

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#43

Tension: when wife iz pregnant!
Terror: When girl friend iz preggnant!
Horror: When both are preggnant!
Tragedy: When yU are Nt responsible fr both!

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#44

Shadi ke 2nd day beti ma se- aaj meri inse ladai ho gyi.
Ma- koi baat nai, shadi ke baad ladaiyan hoti rehti hai
Beti- wo to thik hai par LAASH ka kya karu

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#45

Santa: Will U marry , after I die.
Wife : No I will live with my sister.
Wife : Will U marry , after I die.
Santa: No I will also live with ur sister.

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#46

Bola dukaandar ki kyaa chahiye tumhien, Jo bhi kaho ge meri dukaan per wo paoge..
Maine kaha ke kutte ke khaane ka cake hai
Bolaa yahin pe khaaoge ya ghar le jaaoge.. .

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#47

Wife: suniye g aap ka dost galat ladki se shaadi kar raha hai. Aap usse rokte kyon nahi
Husband: main kyon rokon Us ne mujhe roka tha kya.

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#48

Why is divorce so expensive Because it’s worth it.

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#49

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were sitting on a tree and Santa Singh was singing a song.
After 4 songs Santa Singh hung himself upside downand started singing again.
Banta Singh : Santa Singh what is the matter with you Why are you hanging upside down
Santa Singh : I am singing the B side.

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#50

Stdnt: sir kya ye sach he ki har insan ko marna hai.
Sir:haan
Student:sir main soch raha hu k jo anth me marega usko shamshan kon lejayega.