Jokes – Set 60 – 2017

#1

1 pathan chilkay sameat kela kha raha tha,
kisi ne us ko toka,
is ko cheel to lo.
pathan bola : chelne ka kia zarorat he humko malum he is K andr kia he.

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#2

Wife:Ple bike taze na chalao
mujy dr lg rha h.
Sardar:Agr tujhy bhi dar lag raha hay to meri trah ankhe bnd kar ly.

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#3

A
girl’s
best
asset
is
her
‘Lie’Ability”

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#4

Koun si devi ka kounsa prasad
India mein famous hai….
Rabridevi ka laloo prasad

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#5

Success Formula,
B sweet as honey
B regular as clock
B fresh as rose
B soft as tissue
B hard as rock
&
B sure as death

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#6

Teacher: What’ll u do when u grown up
Sam: Marriage
Tch: No, I mean what’ll u become
S: Daddy

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#7

Professor:
Tum 20 saal ki larki
Su shaadi kroge ya
Apne sy 20 saal bari say …
Student:
Sir ! Depend karta hy k
Kon khoobsurat hay !
Aap ki beti ya aap ki biwi

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#8

AB: 1=2
how!
Let x=y.
= 2x-x=2y-y
= 2x-2y=x-y
= 2(x-y)=x-y
= 2=1
Saala maths ka itihas hila kar rakh dala

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#9

Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.
Banta: Are tension mat le, Jeher bharwane aya hoga

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#10

Teacher: what is ur caste Student: pehle to assi rajput si, fir pandit ho gaye, hun haige sardarji.. ab agge mummy di MARZI !!

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#11

American pathan se : Hum chand par ja sakta hay.
Pathan : To kia hua ham sooraj par ja sakta hay.
American : Impossible Tum jal jao gay.
Pathan : Hum pagal nahi hay ham raat mein jaiga

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#12

Sardar 1- Train me yaar raat bhar neend nahi aayi.. Upar ki seat mili thi!
Sardar 2- To exchange karna tha!
Sardar 1- Kisse karta Neeche ki seat pe koi nahi tha.. 😉

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#13

What is Marriage
Ans:
1 year:-Alpenlibe-Ji lalchaye raha Na Jaye.
2 year:- KINETIC-Sab ki hawa Nikal de.
3 year:-CHLORMINT- DOBARA MAT PUCHNA .

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#14

A-I’ ve a Perfect Son.
B-Does he Smoke.
A-No
B-Does he Come Home Late.
A-No. NO.
B-Wow.! You actually have
a Perfect Son,
How Old is he.
A- 6 Months old.!

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#15

Ek ladki ne Apne BOY friend ka pappu first Time Pakda aur us per kiss karne lagi tabhi usme se Kush drop nikle;
girl: wat is this
boy: khushi ke aansu hai pagli….

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#16

Teacher to Santa: Write your best friend’ s name in English.
A Santa wrote: ‘ Beautiful Red Underwear’
A Teacher: What
A Santa: His name is Sundar Lal chaadha.

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#17

Santa apne bete se bola Bevakuf kaisa machis leke aaya hai, ek bhi tili nahi jalti
Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa sab tili test karke layah hu.

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#18

My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It’s entitled: Women are From Venus, Men Are Wrong.
Happy Women’s Day!

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#19

My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day.

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#20

Teacher- Agar Main Teri Maa Hoti To Main Tuze 2 Dino Me Sudhaar Deti.
Student- Madam, Kal Tak Main Apne Papa Se Baat Karke Apko Bata Dunga.

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#21

SARDAAR : YAAR MERI BIWI MERE DOST KE SAATH BHAAG GAYI. AADMI : BAHUT YAAD AATI HOGI USKI FIR. SARDAAR : HAA YAAR BAHUT ACCHA DOST THA MERA.

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#22

Santa- ladki fasani aati hai
Banta- nahi aati
Santa- pehle kagaj ka jahaj bana phir use class room me udha de jab madam puche to ladki ka nam laga de —bas ladki fas gai

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#23

Description of SMS
.
.
.
S:Salaa
M:Muft da
S:Siyapa
.
.
.
Je na karo,te kanjoos..!
.
.
..
Je karo, te wely..!

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#24

Ager tum kisi ghareeb ko
us ka haq nahi dila saktay to.
jo us k pass he wo b cheen lo.
Hazrat Allama Asif Ali Zardari

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#25

My wife doesn’t care what I do away from home, as long as I don’t enjoy it.

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#26

Guide: ‘I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world’s largest
waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20
supersonic planes passing by can’t be heard. Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls ‘

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#27

On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: ‘Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back ‘
To which the farmer replied: ‘Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!’

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#28

Hubby(wife se)- kamwali Shanti ko bulao.
wife- kyu
Hubby- Doctor ne bola hai ki raat ko tonik aur goli khao
Aur shanti ke sath so jao..!

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#29

Teacher:’Childrn,2days Word is W;Make Sentence.’
Tim:’While We Were Walking, We Were Watching Window Washers Wash Washington’s Windows With Warm Washing Water!

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#30

Doctor ne admi se pucha .
Kia aap ka aur aapki biwi ka khoon aik hi hai
Admi ne kaha..
Kiu nahi Zarur hoga! Pachaas
saal se mera hi khoon pi rahi hai na

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#31

Scene : Ajit ordering Robert to kill an enemy.
Raaaaaaaabert, ise Social Security pe daal do.
Society ise jeene nahi degi, aur Security marne nahi degi.

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#32

Ek bar ek ladke ko kute ne kaat liya to uski ma kute ke malik ke pass chali gayi or boli tere kute ne mere bete ko kata hain , to usne jawab diya to kya hua tum apne bete ko kaho wo mere kute ko kaat lega hisab barabar ho jayega.

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#33

Santa:-whats the difference between ‘complete’ & ‘Finish’
Banta:- when u marry a right person u r complete
&
when u marry d wrong one u r finished…..

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#34

Grl Friend v/s Wife
gf..beauty
wf..duty
gf..pension
wf..tension
gf..yummy
wf..vehmi
gf..cool
wf..fool
gf..tooti fruity
wf..kismat footi
gf..fresh cake
wf..Earthquake.

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#35

santa ji aapko kabhi kisise pyar hua hai
santa-han,par woh manti hi nahin
kya bolti hai
bolti hai i love u 2
par yeh dusra kaun hai

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#36

Dada: Puter ander sey merey dant tu ley aa,
Beyta: Mager dada g roti tu abhe bani nhe,
Dada: ohh nhee! beyta samney wali Budhi nu smile deyni hai

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#37

Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar aa raha hai ..ghar ke sab khilone chhupa de. Mom: tera dost chor hai kya Boy: nahin, woh apne khilone pahechan lega.

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#38

sardar & wife went for divorce
judge;u have 3kids how will u devide them sardar thinks k we wil cme nxt year 1 more

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#39

Bin Laden’s Son Was Studing In An American School..
Teacher Ask Him- I Have 4 Apples, How Can I Share It Among 5 Children.
His Ans- ‘KILL ONE’

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#40

Raabert: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jahyahda pasand hein boss
Ajeet: Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona

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#41

father: if u failed in exams again, don’t cal me ‘dad’
after some days …..
father: how is ur result
son: sorry mahesh, i failed

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#42

zardari cycle pe ja raha tha nwaz sharif mila or bola ALLAH ke nam pe kuch de do saieen zardari.. aa chal tuje aik or chaker doon

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#43

A sardarji in library bangs a book and says: Too boring, too many characters and no story.
Librarian: so you are the one who took the phone directory away

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#44

Ladka: Janeman is dil mein aaja. Ladki: Sandal nikalu kya Ladka: Pagli mandir thode hi hai, aise hi aaja!!

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#45

Judge: tUm nE Ek hI RaAT Me 7 jAgah Chori kI
Chor: haAN Sahib,
Main mEhnat sE G Nahi chUrata.

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#46

A foreign couple told 2 his wife
‘am ur husband n u r my wife’
A village couple beside them wanted 2 repeat it n told 2 his wife ‘am ur handpump n u r my pipe’

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#47

Boy:what is that u keep in ur mouth
which is 6 long
and move it in and out
and wait for a white substance to come out
Girl: y do u ask such question to me.
i cant tell such words
Boy:dont worry its tooth brush

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#48

Patient: Doctor I heard 10 percent of the total patients undergoing this surgery die.
Doctor: Don’ t worry man, those 10 percent patients operated by me are already dead. Now it’ s the turn of the 90 percent survivors.

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#49

Sardarji opens his lunch box
in the middle of the road ..why
Just to confirm whether he is going
to or coming back from the office

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#50

Munna Bhai > Abay Sirkit,
Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula ke laa,
meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Sirkit > par Bhai aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna Bhai > Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada ha