Jokes – Set 72 – 2017

#1

Interviewer : Whats d relation bw Earth & Moon
Sardar : Brother & Sister
Interviewer : How
Sardar : We call Earth Darthi mata n Moon Chanda Mama

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#2

Lady sitting on a park bench.Beggar:Hi darling.!shall v have some fun lady angrily:How dare U Beggar:Then What r U doin on my bed

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#3

Ek swimmer to his frnd: ma pani ke andr ek ghanty tk rh skata hun,kia tum aisa kr skte ho
Frnd: ma boht din pani k andr rh skta hun
swimer:wo kaise
Frnd:kyun k mujy swimming nhi ati.

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#4

What did shivaji say to bruce lee when he met him
‘ tu karate main marathe’.

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#5

Patient (Wakeel):Janab Ab Main Kya
Kha Sakta Hoon
Doctor:Meri Fees K
Ilawa Sab Kuch Kha Saktay Hain .

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#6

Boy:Darling Hamare pyar ke
bare mein kisi ko mat batana.
Girl: Sana ko to zaroor bataungi,
kehti thi kaun paagal hoga
jo tujhse pyar karega

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#7

Boy:’Dear! Look into my eyes,what do you see Tell honestly’ Girl:’true love’ Boy:’O True love wali ! ! ! Machar najar nahi aya kya Jaldi nikal.’..

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#8

Sardar : Apne bete se bola,
Baywaqoof .kaisa machis lay k aaya hai,
ek bhi tili nahin jalti.
Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test kar k laya hun.

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#9

TAn old rich man marries a young girl.
Interviewer ask to girl-
apne inme shadi ke liye kya dekha-
girl-ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kam

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#10

Neend ati hai to khwab ata hai..
Khwab ata hai to larki ati hai..
LArki ati hai to pechay uss ka baap ata hai ..
phr na larki ati hai na khwab ata hai…

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#11

Boy: Muze Mehnati, Sadgi Se Rehne Wali, Aagyakari, Ghar Sanwar kar Rakhne Wali Ladki Chahiye.
Girl: Mere Ghar Aake Meri Nokrani Ko Le Jana.

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#12

TERROR JOKE –
What will happen
if u throw an AMPLIFIER into the sea
TSUNAMI will be created
since an amplifier converts
small waves into bigger wave.

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#13

Girls Collage mai Strike ho gai,Sabhi girls Nare Laga rahi hai,
Girls k satth Boys bhi unka satth de rahe hai,
Girls ne Nare lagate huye ‘HAMARI MANGE….,
Piche se Awaz aye,’SINDUR SE BHARO….’.

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#14

,@,
(;;;
/;;/
//
ICE-CREAM 4 U
.
.
.
.
Zayada Muskurao Mat
Ager HIMMAT Hai Too Kha K Dekho !!!

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#15

How do you fit 30
Indians in Maruti 800
Throw a 100 rupee note inside

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#16

Santa: Why do God stay up in heaven Banta: Because they are afraid of what they have created!

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#17

Sardar Sahib Ne New Chaddi Li.
Sare Gaon Ko Dhoti Uper Ker K Dikhate Rahe aur Phir Ghar A ker Dekha
TO…
…….
…….
…….
…….
Chadi to Almari ma hi thi

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#18

Interviewer:wat is skeleton..
Santa:Skeleton is a prson who strtd dieting bt forgot to stop it..!

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#19

Ek raat husband ny wife se pani manga or so gaya
Bivi sari raat khari rahi subha hui
Husband: tum sari raat yaha khari rahi bolo kya chahye
Wife: Gussy se, Talaq 😉

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#20

Galiloeo:- Great Mind, Einstein:- Genius Mind, Newton:- Extraordinary Mind Me:- MasterMind, YOU:- Never Mind!

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#21

My other wife is beautiful.

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#22

if u want to drive “Mercedez”
‘
‘
‘
& wish 2go2 switzerland,
& like to stay in 5 star hotel,
then visit our website
www.apni ouqat mai raho.com

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#23

Why was 6 scared
Because 7 , 8 , 9!

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#24

Santa rail mein susu karne gaya, vapis aane par wife aapka pajama gila kaise hua santa vaha likha tha,sharir ka koi bhi angh bahar na nikale.

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#25

Jaat riding a cycle, hits a Girl.
Girl:Ghanti nahin mari jaati kya
Jaat: Re bawli !! Poori cycle maar di, aab ghanti alag se maaru ke

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#26

Dad:2 things in life r imprtant.
Honesty n Wisdom !
Son:Wats honesty
Dad:Keep ur word if u hv given it.
Son:Wisdom
Dad:Dont give it !

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#27

1 pagal khane me pagal nach rahe the…
1 pagal khamosh baitha tha
dr ne pucha tum q khamosh baithe ho
pagal ne kaha-bewkuf me dulha hun!!!

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#28

Q. Doctor : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai.
A. Man : Hoga, zarur hoga; 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai.

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#29

Banta owned a factory. He issued orders that only married men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this
Banta reply: Because married men are more obedient.

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#30

Last 9t I had a
dream
I was walking
with GOD
He Askd me
Whz Ur Bst frnd
I told Him ur Name
He Smiled & Said
‘sab Pichle Janm k pap ha

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#31

SHADI KARNE KE LIYE SARDAAR NE SABSE CHOTI LADKI CHUNI… KARAN PATA KARNE GAYE TO PATA CHALA SARDAR JI NE KAHA KI MUSIBAT JITNI CHOTTI HO UTNA ACCHA.

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#32

Ques. -> Can a Kangaroo Jump Higher than the
Eiffel Tower.

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#33

Ans. : Yes, because the Eiffel Tower Can’ t Jump .
Think different…..

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#34

taxi driver:madam me abtak 10 pregnant ladkiyo ko airport chhod chuka hoon…. Girl:But i am not pregnant.Driver;Abhi tak airportkaha aaya hai

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#35

Salesman:This computer cuts ur workload by 50% Santa: Then I’ll take 2 of them

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#36

Santa in airplane going to Bombay . While its landing he was excited and shouted: Bombay . Bombay
Air hostess said: B silent.
Santa: Ok. Ombay. Ombay

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#37

Never kiss a female Lawyer she will say ‘I OBJECT’
You can kiss a female Doctor she will say ‘NEXT’
But Always kiss a Teacher she will say ‘DO IT FIVE TIMES’

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#38

Patni:Mei jab gaana gaati hoon toh aap balcony mei kyo chale jate ho Pati:kahi muhalle wale aisa na samjhe mei tumara gala daba raha hoon.

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#39

Mom : Roohi Kyu Ro Rahi Ho
Poohi : Teacher Ne Mara.
Mom : Kyu
Roohi : Maine Usko Murghi Kaha
Kyuki Usne Mujhe Test Mein Anda Diya

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#40

Santa: Main ek baar jungle mein susu karne gaya toh waha per Sher tha.
Banta: Phir kya hua
Santa: Maine Sher se kaha, Pehle tum karlo, mera toh ho gaya hai.

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#41

Wife : Beggar Who Came Yesterday Is Very Bad . . . !
Husband : Why
Wife : I Gave Him Food Yesterday &
today He Gifted Me A Book “How To Cook”

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#42

Ques : shadi me dulhe ke saath
Baarati kyun jate hain
Ans :- kyunki bade kehte hain ki kisiki khushi mein
Jao na jao par musibat me zarur jana chahiye..
Reply With Quote

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#43

Teacher:zinda rehnay k lia kia chiz zaroori ha
Student:
zinda rehnay k liye teri kasam..
Aik mulakaat zaroori ha sanam!!

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#44

A husband was returning home after cremating his wife.
He sees heavy lightning and thunderstorm in the sky.
Husband thinks: She must have reached there.

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#45

Balochi:
Hamare registan mein
“Khush-Amdeed” bolo to vapis awaz aati hai
“Amded Amded”
Pathan:
Hamare paharon ma
“I Luv U” bolo tu awaaz Aata hai
“Luv u Luv u”
Punjabi:
A keri gal a.
Saade pind vich awaz maro,
“Teri Maa Di. . .”
te vapas awaz aandi a,
“Teri Pahen Di”
“Teri Niki Di”
“Teri W@ddi Di”

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#46

I never forget my sincere friends
when i see some faults in them
i keep patient & just realize that
.
.
.
.
“ab har koi meri terha perfect
tou nahi ho sakta na”

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#47

DOCTOR: Bachay 2 hi ache..
Vaise aap k kitne bache hain
LADY: Pehle to 2 hi thay lekin jab se ishtehar dekha hai to ache ki talash me 10 ho gaye hain. 😉

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#48

Air hostess: Aap 1 gante me 4bar toilet gaye! R U OK Kya aap ko chein nahi hai
SARDAR: ‘Chain’ hai par khulti nahi hai!!!

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#49

Deadly IQ OF SANTA SINGH!
Wat’s d Opposite of ACHAAR
A- ONION!
HOW
A- Achaar=Pickle=Pee-Kal..
So, Opposite of Pee-Kal= Pee-Aaj= Onion!

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#50

In a Coupe of a
Long Distance Train
a Man and a Woman who are Strangers travel.
Though Embarrassed
and Uneasy to be in
the Same room they
fall asleep.
Man in the Upper Berth
At 2 AM He gently
wakes her up saying,
Ma’ am Sorry to bother
Can you reach into the closet get me a 2nd
Blanket, it’ s Very Cold.
She said, I’ ve a
Better Idea. Why Don’ t
we pretend that We’ re Married.
Wow.! Great idea, he’ s excited.
She said,
.
.
Then Get Up and
Take it Yourself.!