Jokes – Set 92 – 2017

#1

‘Bacha:Mene Hathi K Samne 12 Apple RakheUsne 11 Khaye Aik Q Nhi Khaya?Aadmi:Hathi Ka Pait Bhr Gya Hoga.Bacha:Nhi12wa Apple Plastic Ka Tha.Acha Dubara Mene Hahti K Samne12 Apple Rakhe To Us Ne Aik B Nhi Khaya Q?Aadmi:SaareApple Plastic K Honge.Bacha:Nhi GalatIs Dafa Hathi Plastic Ka Tha.’

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#2

Bhikari:Hello , Pizza Hut?Pizza Hut:Yes SirBhikari:1 Large Pizza Or 1 Litre Pepsi Bhej DoPizza Hut:Sir Kis Ke Naam Se Bhejoon?Bhikari:Allah Ke Naam Pe Dede Baba!’

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#3

A Small child: Papa ap kisi larki ko pyar krte he?Papa: Haan tumhari maa se.Child: Bare badmaash ho ghar me hi chakar chalaya howa ha…..’

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#4

1 boy ki G.Frnd ny usy lettr likha, mujse milny 1 lrka aya hy,tumsy kahin acha hy,mei us se shadi karungi meri pic wapis bijhwa dolarky ny apne sary doston ki G.F ki 30 pics jama ki,drmyan me uski pic rkh k lettr likha,lo,in mei sy nikal lo,me tmhari shakal bhool gya hn!!!

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#5

1 pthan ne 1 molvi se kch puchaMolvi ne 2 thapar lagy1 admi ne pthan se pucha tumne kya bola molvi ko?Pthan:Mne srf pucha KValentine day ki nmaz kahan ho gi

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#6

Father: shaadi bachon ka khel nahiSon: haan pata hai mujhe,Father: kiya pata hai?Son: yahi k shadi badon ka khel haijo bachon k liye khela jata hai

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#7

ek pathan k janaze main log bhangra daal rahe tahe.wajha pochi to ek pathan ne bataya kpehli dafa hum main se koiBrain Hambrige se mara hai

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#8

pathan girl friend ko ghar le gaya,sab darwaze khirkiyan band kardin,parde gira diye light off kar k us k pass aya aur kahadekho humara watch main light jalta hai.

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#9

teacher: boys aap ko aamir khan aur kajol ki filmfana se kiya lesson mila?student: andhi, kani, langri, jo bhi mile,phansa leni chahye.

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#10

wife: bas karo kitna karoge? raat se kar rahe ho.thaky nahi abhi tak?husband: raat se kar raha hoon to kiya huaaaj to main pora din karonga.SMS itne saste jo hogaye hain.

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#11

ek pathan ki behan ko daku utha kar le gaye,sab ne kaha daku khatarnak hain khali haath mat janabehan ko bachane.Pathan 2 kilo mithayi le gaya. p

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#12

A woman at an embroidery shop: yahan gale milte hain?Sales man: milte to nahi hain magar aap kahte hain to mil lete hain:

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#13

Pathan : meri oulaad nahi hoti.Dost: aap mazar par dua karo.Next YearDost: kiya hua?Pathan: Kuch nahi,Dost: koun se mazar par dua ki thi?Pathan: Quaid-e-Azam k mazar pe.:

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#14

Husband apni wife ka janaza le jaa raha tha.janaze k aage ek kutta aur peche aadmiyon ki lambi line thi,ek aadmi aakar pochta hai : bhai sahab ye sab kaise hua?Husband : is kutte ne kaat liya tha.Aadmi : ye kutta ek din k liye udhar main de do.Husband : peche line main lago. :

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#15

Ek admi chupkay se jahanum se nikala aur jannat mainchala gaya. Frishtay ne pakar kar khob mara.Maar khanay k baad admi utha, kapray jharray aur bola:Tumhari in he harkaton ki wajha se koi jannat main nahi ata.

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#16

Lady to Doctor: mera beta motar cycle se gir gaya hai.Doctor: I can’t understand please speak in English.Lady: my londa is gironda from HERO HONDA. 😛

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#17

Teacher- Tumhaare Ghar mein Sab se Chhota Kaun hai?? Student- Mere Papa.. Teacher- Wo Kaise?? Student- Wo Aaj bhi Mummy ke Saath Sote hai..

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#18

What’s the similarity beween Marriage & 11.59pm?………Simple dono ke bad 12 bajte Hai…… Aur…..Din badal jate hain..!!!!!!!

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#19

American: Hamare paas MADONA, JULIA,BRITNEY jaise Item BOMB hai…. tumhare paas kya hai?Indian: Hamare paas IMRAN HASMI jaise BOMB DEFUSER hai!!!

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#20

SHADI MEANS-:S-SHANTI BHANGH-HIMMAT KHTAMA-AAJADI SAMAAPTAD-DIMAG KHARABI-IN ‘MAN’S’ LIFE

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#21

Funny Lalu found answer to the most difficult question ever: What came first- the chicken or the egg? ‘Hum jiska order pehle dunga, vahi pehle ayega na!’

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#22

1admi santa ke bete se poochta hai: beta papa ghar pe hai????santa ka beta SPRITE peete hue: uncle seedhe bolo mummy se milna hai, Seedhi baat no bakwaas

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#23

Sant: meine khat likha tha ki meri shadi per jaroor aana, tum q nahi aaye?Banta: yaar mujhe khat mila he nahi.Banta: meine likha tha k khat mile ya na mile tum zaroor aana

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#24

‘Wife- Main maayke ja rahi hu, tumhe talaak ka notice bhej dungi. Husband- Ja ja mithi-mithi bate karke mujhe khush karne ki koshish mat kar.’

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#25

Biwi-mere khyal se hmari beti ki kisi ladke k sath setting ho gai hpati-vo kaise?Bivi-q ki vo kafi dino se recharge k paise nahi maang rhi h.

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#26

Santa: bhagwan ka shukar hai ki India 14th August ko aazad nahi hua..Banta: Kyun??Santa: Are yaar, Phir hum 15th August kaise manaate ?

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#27

Anty chote puppy se: Oye hoye! kitna sona doggy hai!Umma.. Umma.. Umma..!Boy: Par anty..Anty: Oye kiss karne de!Umma.. Umma.. Umma..!!…Boy: Par anty iska muh idhar nahi us taraf hai!

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#28

Santa : Yaar Achha HuaMe India Me Paida HuaAmerica Me NahiBanta : Q America MeHota To Kya Hota ?Santa : Tu B NaMuje English Kaha Aati Hai

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#29

Zardari Doodh Waly Ki DukaanPe Gya Aur Kaha :“Kuttay K LiyeEk Litre Doodh De Do …”Doodh Wala :“Idhar Hi Pio GeYaParcel Ker Doon…”

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#30

” Tum Kuttay ThayKuttay Ho AurKuttay Hii RahogeTumhare Bache Bhi Kuttay Aur Aane Wali Saato’n Naslai’n Kuttay Hii Rahenge ”Kutya Ne Kuttay Se Kaha Aur Maike Chali Gayi . . .

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#31

School me 1 bacha chaku liye ghum raha tha. teachar ne pucha chaku liye kyo ghum rahe ho? bacha: ‘GARIB HU SIR, bandhuk KAHA SE LAu.

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#32

Nokrani : Malkin aap udas kyo hai?Malkin : Tumhare Saab apne office ki kisi ladkise pyar karte hai Nokrani: Naheeeeeeeee! Saab muje dhoka nahi de sakte.

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#33

Son: Abba idher aaMother: Aise nahi boltey beta,daddy ko izat k saath bulate hain,Son: Abba izzat k saath idher aaja.

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#34

Boy friend to his Girl friend:’darling mere kaan main kuch garam sakuch naram sa, kuch namkin sakuch mitha sa kaho na’Girl friend sharmate hue: ‘ HALWA PORI’

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#35

ek sharabi dosre se: ek hathi pool mein gir jayto kaise nikle ga?dosra: very simple wet ho kar nikle ga.

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#36

santa ki sadi nurse se ho jati hai banta ek din santa se mila pucha yar kasi hai tumare bb santa: yar mere baat hi nahi sunti jab tak use mai sister na bulau.

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#37

Man saw a snake on bed of his Mother-in-law.Man to snake: Meri saas ko das lay.Snake: Abay Kya das lay? Main esi say to apna zehar recharge karwata hon.

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#38

Satna’s BV: Janu sawera ho gya jagoBanta’s BV: Chaand dhal gya jagoSingh’s BV: Darling it’s dawn get upMajor Rohail’s BV: OYE! Subha ho gae mera husbnd ane wala hai

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#39

eh sher ne ek budde ko pakad liyabudda: mera khoon thanda ho chuka hai kisi jawan ka garam khoon piyosher: nahi aaj mera cold drink peene ka mood hai

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#40

Dulha: Aaj se tum meri Zeenat ho, Tabasum ho, Tamanna ho…Dulhan:Sharma k…Ji Aaj se aap b mere liyeNaveed ho,Tahir ho,Imran ho.Kamran ho..;-)

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#41

Ek sharabi chaand ki or ishara karke puchhta hai: Ye chand hai ya suraj? Dusra sharabi: Mujhe nahi pata, main bhi iss shaher mein naya hun..!

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#42

Nurse ! Dr. Ur Wife�s phone Dr. I�m busy whats the matter ? Nurse : She wants to kiss u Dr : I am Busy . U take her kiss n give me later.

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#43

PrincipaL=Late Q Aaye Ho?Pappu=Bike Bigad Gyi Thi SirPrincipL=Bus Me nhi Aa Sakte?Pappu=Maine Bola SirPar Apki Beti Nhi Mani.

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#44

3 Dost Bike pe ja rhe the.. Trafficwale ne Rok kr bola : ‘Tumhe malum nhi TRIPLING Apradh hai..’ 1Dost : Hume Malum hai islie to 1 ko Ghar Chodne ja rhe hai..

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#45

Student : Sir pyar ka izhar karne k liye sabse suitable jagah kya hogi?Sir : MandirStudent : sir kyo?Sir:kyunki waha ladki chappal utar k jati hain

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#46

Son:Mom,Maine 1 Khawab Dekha Ki Mera 1 Paav Zamin Par Or Dusra Aasman me hai.Mom:Iss Tarah Ke Khawab Na Dekha Kar puttar Warna kachcha Fatt jayega.

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#47

Teacher: Humyn Gharibon k Sath Piyar sy Paish Aana Chahiye.Student: Acha Ab Me Samjha.Teracher: Kia?Student: Papa Aksar Nokrani ko Galay Q Lagatay Hyn. 🙂

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#48

Santa bag lekar bus me ghusa..Aur zor se chillaya-..’KHABARDAR!!KOI APNI JAGAH SE NAHI HILEGA!!..Santa SinghKULFIWALA KHUD SABKE PAAS AAYEGA!!!!’ 😉

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#49

Girl – Kya Tum mere Asiqe ho?Boy – ha hu..Girl – To Mujhe 10000 ka Recharge Bhej Do.Boy – ‘Me Tera Asiqe Hu AirTel walo ka Damad Nahi…’

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#50

Santa – My wife died yesterday..I’m trying to cry but tears are not come out,what to do?Banta – No Problem.Just Imagine she Came Back. 😀