Mama Jokes – Set 6 – 2017

#1

Yo Dog walker so ugly that he once took your Mutt to Crufts and WON – oh, the dog came second…

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#2

Your sister-in-law so god awful ugly that Durex want to use her as a poster child.

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#3

Yo Father’s so ugly his hairline ain’t receding…it’s his hair that’s running away from his ugly noggin.

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#4

You Grandma’s so Ugly her Shrink makes her lie face down on the couch.

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#5

Your Grandpa so freakin ugly that when he gets up in the mornin, the Sun goes down.

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#6

Yo’ Mum so ugli that even Prince Charming refuses to kiss her – he’d rather live as a frog.

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#7

Yo older sister so ugly that Mommy had to feed her with a fishing rod.

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#8

Yo Uncle so astonishingly ugly that whenever he comes over and goes to your bathroom, the toilet flushes.

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#9

Your Dog’s so ugly as yo Momma that I had to shave its arse and make it walk backwards…

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#10

Yo mama’s so ugly, hold on….you got a mirror handy???

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#11

Yo Mama’s sister so ugly that Blind men refuse to have sex with her.

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#12

Yo Uncle so ugly, Spielberg wants him in Addams Family 3

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#13

Your kid so ugly the Doctor is STILL smacking his ass.

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#14

Yo Mother in law so hellishly ugly, that president George W Bush is considering making ugliness a crime, punishable by the electric chair

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#15

Yo Momma’s so ugly that she hurt my feelings…

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#16

Your doctor’s so ugly she manages to give Freddy Kreuger Nightmares!

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#17

Yo Moma So Old

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#18

she left her purse on Noah’s Ark.

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#19

Jurassic Park brought back the memories…

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#20

when she ran the 100 metre dash, they timed her with a sundial.

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#21

she still owes Moses a dollar.

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#22

when she was at school…there was No history class!

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#23

she uses her hot flushes to heat her cup of Tea

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#24

she’s got the first autographed Koran.

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#25

she co-wrote the 4th Commandment.

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#26

when I asked for her ID she handed me a rock

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#27

she even made Yoda jealous.

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#28

she recalls when the Grand Canyon was a ditch.

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#29

the fire department are on standby when you light her birthday cake

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#30

when she gave birth, You came out with Dentures.

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#31

she sat in front of Jesus in 1st grade

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#32

her first job was as Cain and Abel’s baby-sitter.

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#33

vher birthday expired.

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#34

when Moses parted the Red Sea, he found yo momma fishing on the other side!

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#35

she got the first copy of the Ten Commandments.

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#36

Anything Yo’s – So Old …

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#37

Yo Grandpa so old his social security number is 000-000-001

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#38

Yo Priest so old he’s got Adam and Eve’s autograph

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#39

Yo Archeology Professor so old we found cave drawings of her.

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#40

Your Wife getting so old she startin to fart out Mummy dust

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#41

You Postman so damn old his zip code is 00001.

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#42

Yo’ geeky Star Wars friend so old he used to baby sit Yoda

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#43

Yo Doctor so old he uses chewing gum as a bandaid.

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#44

Yo hairdresser so old she used to cut Betty Rubble’s hair

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#45

You so old you used to gang bang wid the Flintstones

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#46

Yo’ home helper so old she was once a waitress at the last supper

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#47

Yo Grannie so old Spielberg hired her as historical consultant on Jurassic Park

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#48

Yo Nana so old she the only Creature in Jurassic Park they never had to animate

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#49

You Gardener so old she uses T-Rex dropping as fertilizer.

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#50

Yo History teacher so damn old he was co-author of the Dead Sea scrolls