Rohail Misbah Jokes – Set 2 – 2017

#1

Anti Misba k Gharelo tootke
Agr ap ko koe baat HAZAM na Ho rahe ho
Ya koe baat aapke payt me dard Kr rhe ho
To estamal kro
.
Dabur ka Hajmola.

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#2

Major Rohail ne abi Hajj complete B nhe kya k us k TIND ho gae!!!
Who kese..?
Major Rohail ne larki ko Cheer dya.

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#3

Anti Misba baal dye krvane gae.
Keune 500 ka
Koe Sasta
Revlon 400
Aur Sasta
Kala Kola 100
Aur Sasta
Samsul 50 ka
Aur Sasta
Madam ye lo 20 rupe ur Ja k mehndi lgalo.

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#4

Anti Misba’s baryani recipe
Chawal Aatte me daal k
Thori se cheene mix kr lo
Phir lipton daalo ur ye lo kofte tyar
Anti Misba ko kha tha k
GhAJINI na dekhna.

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#5

Major Rohail: Abba ye achi bat nahi,
Dosto me meri bohat
Beizati hoti hai.
Abba: Kyu?
Major Rohail: Sab dosto k abba maar gae
Mera Abba abi tk zinda hai.

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#6

Major Rohail apni shadi ke video apne bete ko dekha rha the.
Boy: Abu mein bhe apni shadi pr KANJARYAN nachao gy.
Major Rohail: Oy! Begherat wo kanjaryan nhe
Tere PUPHYAAN hai.

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#7

Aaj tk Anti Misba ka koe Lover in ko Bhool nhe paya
.
bhala kyo?
.
.
.
Very Simple
.
.
Anti Misba ko AIDS jo hy.

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#8

Shopkeper: Sir g condom ka chota pack de du?
Major Rohail: Nhe mei condom use nhe krta.
Shopkeper: Par sahb g! ap ke b.v tu roz condom le jati hy.

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#9

Sardar aur Major Rohail ke Larai ho gae
Major Rohail: Mein army mein major hu.
Sardar: OY! Darata kis ko hy? Mera beta bhe Cedit school Ka student hai.

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#10

Major Rohail ne bank se loan le kr car le
Lakin loan wapis na kr ska
Bank walay car le gay
.
.
.
.
Major Rohail: pehle pta hota tu shadi b bank se loan le kr krta.

—– —
#11

Anti Misba hints her Husband 4 a new Car saying:
‘Dear, buy me something that goes from 0 to 80 in 3 seconds when I m on it.’
.
.
.
Husband gifted her a Weighing Machine.

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#12

Major Rohail: Yaar ek lrki menu hans k vekh rhe se.
Friend: ‘Confirm kr le!
Hans k vekh rhe se
Ya
Vekh k hans rhe se.

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#13

Anti Misba gutter mei gir gye
Gutter se nikal k safe guard se nahaee
Next day in news
‘Captain Safe Guard Dead’

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#14

Bubbli: Ami me bohat confuse hu.
Anti Misba: Kyu beta kya hova?
Bubbli: ‘Father’ pr Essay likhna hai
ur
samaj nhe aata k kis ‘Uncle’ ka naam likho.

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#15

Bubbli: Ami ami aj school me ek uncle milay
Wo kehte the k wo bhe mere abu hai.
.
.
Anti Misba: Beta wo tunhare nhe tumhare bhai k Abu hai.

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#16

Major Rohail ne ek DONKEY K pass pataka chala dya Donkey ne Major Rohail ko Laat maar de
Major Rohail ko bohat Dard hova ur us ne dua ke
‘Ya Rab muj se sheetan ne ye kaam krvaya’
.
Ye sunn kr sheetan khud hazir ho gya aur bola
‘Abe jhoot bolta hy ye idea to mere zehan me b nhi tha’

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#17

Anti Misba went 2 see Taj Mahal with Her husband
Tourist Guide: Madam ye dunya ka 7va aajuba hai.
Anti Misba: Are nhe nhe…ye to mera husband hy Major Rohail.

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#18

Maggie Noodle
Or
Anti Misba
mei kya common hy?
.
.
.
.
.
Bas 2 minute mei tyar.

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#19

Major Rohail ur Misba ke shadi hoi
Major k khilaf Dehli Gate k logo ne Police me case kr dya
Why?
.
.
Major Hmare Mohale ke RONAK le gya saala.

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#20

Satna’s BV: Janu sawera ho gya jago
Banta’s BV: Chaand dhal gya jago
Singh’s BV: Darling it’s dawn get up
Major Rohail’s BV: OY! Subha ho gae mera husbnd ane wala hai.

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#21

Major Rohail ke ho gye shadi
Lo g uske tu ho gye brbaadi
Anti Misba roz us se ktvati pyaaz
Yhe hy kahani mukhtsar Farazz.

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#22

Major Rohail ke hue jis se shadi,
Wo thi itni saadi,
Ghoongat mei sharma k boli,
Bhayya ye kya ho rha hy?
Major Rohail ne kehaa,
Chup raho baji,
Hmara Vyaa ho raha hy.

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#23

Anti Misba:
Mein suraj se zeada garam hon,
Jo mujhe chhuwe ga jal jaye ga
.
.
.
.
Major Rohail: Koe bat nhe, mei tm pe rat ko e charhu ga.

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#24

Anti Misba: Ye Condom ketne ka hy?
Shopkeeper: Ye Rs.10 ka hai.
Anti Misba: Toba ktne mehngai ka zamana hy, Jb mein 8th class me the tb
Rs.1 mein SAFE SEX ho jata tha.

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#25

Nurse: Mubarak ho ap k ghar Larka pyda hua hy
Major Rohail: wah g wah kya technology hy,
B.V meri hospital mei hy,
aur
Bcha mre ghar pyda hua hy.

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#26

Judge: Tmhain kab ehsas hova k Major Rohail tm se pyar nhe krta?
.
.
.
.
Anti Misba: Judge sahab! jb is ne apna credit card block krvaya.

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#27

Batao Anti Misba apna mobile le k dentist k pas kyu gyee?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
apne mobile ke blue tooth theek krvane.

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#28

Major Rohail: Why my mom was charged 40% annual tax?
Officer: Sir tax is 30% on Commercial Property and extra 10% for Public use.

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#29

Ap ke beti Bubbli k kamry se ye teen cheezei mili hein
3 Mobiles
Kuch condoms
7 Sims
Chand XXX CDs
Bohat se Larko k number
Major Ruhail: Family business mei help krna konsa jurm hy?

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#30

Major Rohail newspaper parhty hue
Begum mei is mulk k halat sudhar du ga
Begum: pehlay apni halat tu sudhar lo,subah say meri shalwar pehn k ghoom rhe ho.

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#31

Major Rohail: Yaar mjh se wada kr jb teri shadi ho ge tu teri b.v ko tere se pehle mei gale milu ga.
Dost: Theek hy pr mre ek shart hy
Major Rohail: Ok! bol kya?
Dost: Mei teri behn se shadi kru ga.

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#32

Teacher: Woh teen lafz batao jo sab se zeada bole jaate hein.
Bubbli: Mujhe nhe pata.
Teacher: Shabash! beth jao.

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#33

Teacher: Kal school se chhuti kyu ke?
Bubbli: Ghar mei mehman ay hue thai.
Teacher: O I C
Bubbli: Apko kese pta chala k O I C?

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#34

Shadi k 10 saal bad Anti Misba ne ek rat National Anthem lga dya:
Major Rohail: Ye kya hy?
Anti Misba: Ye last try hy, is ko sun k tu saari qoam khari ho jata hy.

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#35

Teacher: Aaj fir late,
Tmhe periods ki importance ka zara b andaza hy?
Bubbli (Masoom ban k): Hy na! is lye to period miss hone pe Abortion krvane gye thi.

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#36

Dr: Kya hua?
Anti Misba: Petrol milta nhe rozana pump walo k sath sex kr k 10 rupe ka petrol dalvati hu.
Dr: Injury kese hue?
Anti Misba: Rozana 100 ka petrol lg jata hy.

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#37

Anti Misba ne elaan krwaya
Hzraat ek zruri elan sunei
Ek no-molood bacha
Rang Gora
Kali Ankhei
Kale Bal
Jise Anti Misba ne janam dya hy
Jis ka hy aa k le jaye.

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#38

Apka koe acha din?
Anti Misba: Jab me ne 20 larko k sath sex kya.
Apka koe bura din?
Anti Misba: Jab un 20 larko ne pyse nhe dye.

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#39

Judge: Tu ne apni b.v ko kyu mara?
Major Rohail: Judge sahab ye dudh wale k sath sex kr rhe thi.
aur
jab mei kehta hu tu bolti hy ‘Sorry mre pas time nhe’.

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#40

Boy: Mama hm ne nya ghora lya hy?
Anti Misba: Nhi to kyo?
Boy: Kal raat papa aapko keh rhe thy
k
Aao tmhe Ghory ki sair krvau.

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#41

Bubbli: Mei ne ice cream khani hy
Major Rohail: Nhi beta ice cream gnde bche khate hein
Bubbli: Fir tu mama b gndi hn.. roz Jimmy uncle k sath ice cream khane jati hain.

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#42

Anti Misba: Dr. when can I resume normal sexual life?
Doctor(surprisingly): You are the first one to ask me this question after TONSILS operation.

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#43

Captain-Hume dushman ne charon taraf se gheir liya hai
.
.
Major Rohail-Wah Sir!
Yani k ab hum kisi bhi taraf se dushman pe hamla kar skty hai.

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#44

Kid-Anti is baar to apka larka hi ho ga
.
Anti Misba-Tumhe kese pta chla?
.
Kid-App ke phati hui shlawar se muje
us ki moonchain nazar aa rhe hai

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#45

Major Rohail ke BV Halwa le kar mehmaan k saamney Nangi aagai:
Major Rohail: Bewakuf Jahil aurat ye kya hai?
Aunty Misba: Recipie book mein lekha tha
SERVE IT HOT WITHOUT DRESSING

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#46

Major sahab today I saw ur daughter in a XXX movie
Major Rohail: Ghuse se! Sali, Kuttya, Haramzadi, Gashti.
Mujhe to kehti thi ROLE nhe mila.

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#47

Anti Misba: I am virgin.
Major Rohail: I will check first thn marry you.
Anti Misba: Believe me honey! I m a virgin,
16 boys have already checked.

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#48

Anti Misba to Kunwari Pregnant Beti:
Pehle tu muje un pyso ka hesaab de jo tu
pocket money leti thi ur kehti thi k
Condoms & Birth Control Pills per kharch ho gaye.

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#49

Anti Misba: Oh! Shit ye kya keya sperms mere New dress pr nekal dye
.
Major Rohail: Don’t worry Surf Excel hy na?
Dagh to ache hote hy?

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#50

Major Rohail was fucking Anti Misba
During sex he urinated in her vagina
Aunty slapped the shit out of him
&
Said
You ass hole! How dare u urinate at a public place.