Chintoo Mintoo Jokes – Set 1 – 2017

#1

Santa: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: May I go to the bathroom?
Santa: But I asked first!

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#2

in IIT exam…
Chintoo got 1 question..
proove: sin x = 6n
Chintoo cancelled ‘n’ from both the sides..
then six = 6
and wrote ‘kuch to standard
rakha karo IIT ke questions ka’

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#3

Chintoo – I want some fireworks
Shopkeeper – here twenty rs
Chintoo – I don’t believe they all work
Chintoo took one of the fireworks and tried it, it worked.
Chintoo – I will take this one
Shopkeeper – ok chotu pack these for this guy
Chintoo – I just said I will take this one I still have to try others

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#4

Chintoo-Why do doctors cover their faces during an operation?…………….

Because if a mistake happens,

nobody would know who did it.

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#5

Chintoo- mere pas roket hai, sursuri hai,chakri hai,murga bom hai.
tumhare paas kya hai?

Mintoo- mere pas MAA…
.
.
.
.
CHIS Hai
Happy diwali

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#6

ek din Chintoo ki gf ne Chintoo ko call kar ke kahaan ki
aaj mere ghar pe koi nahi hein …..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chintoo bola:koi nahi mere ghar pe sab log hein ….ghar aaja ..tera mann lag jayega…!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#7

Chintoo and Mintoo go to a restaraunt, after finishing their food Mintoo said ‘i am going to eat the dessert and will return in 2 minutes’ after 2 minutes he returned. Chintoo said ‘you are really fast in eating, since you came in 2 muinutes you must have eaten rajasthaan desert not sahara dessert.!!!

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#8

begger : paisa dedo

Chintoo : jaa jaa chutta nahi hai HEEH HEEH

begger : Cheee Kitna gareeb hai chutta bhee nahi hai

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#9

Mintoo Ek Ladki Ke Ghar Rishta Le Kar Gaya.
Ladki Ke Maa Baap Bole: Hamari Beti
Abhi Padh Rahi Hai…
Mintoo: Koi Baat Nahi, Hum Ek Ghante Baad Aa Jayenge..

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#10

Mintoo Customer: I need a ladies suit
Chintoo Shopkeeper: wife ke liye chahiye ya koi achcha sa dikhaun?

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#11

Chintoo’s Wife: don’t put the mobile on charging at night, it will blast!
Chintoo: just shut up! and sleep, I have already taken out the battery

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#12

Chintoo : main yeha nahi rahoonga….mera paisa wapas karo, itna chhota kamra aur 1 stool!….tum mereko gawaar samajhte ho!……..
Waiter: sir kamray me to chaliye, ye lift hai!

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#13

Chintoo drives to the airport and immediately comes back home… WHY??

Because there he saw a sign board that said, ‘Airport left’..!!

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#14

Professor : Chemical Symbol Of Barium?
Chintoo : Ba
Professor : & Sodium
Chintoo : Na
Professor : What Will We Get If 1 Atom Of Ba & 2 Atoms Of Na Combine ???
Chintoo : BaNaNa . . .

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#15

What kind of detective is Chintoo?` `Well, once a burglar wearing calf-skin
gloves robbed a safe.
Chintoo took the fingerprints and five days later
arrested a cow in Haryana.

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#16

Chintoo : ( Bus Stop Per !! Ladki Ko Dekh Kar Bola ?) ?Arey Chand To Raat Ko Nikalta Hai Aaj Din Mein Kaise Nikal Gaya Kaise Nikal Gaya?

Ladki : Arey Ulluu To Raat Ko Bolta Hai , Aaj Din Mein Kaise Bol Pada!!

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#17

Chintoo : Yaar !! Mintoo Ye Sab Log Bhaag Kyu Rahe Hain

Mintoo : Yaar Ye Race Laga Rahe Hain Cup Jeetne Ke Liye

Chintoo : To Cup Kis Ko Milega

Mintoo : Jo Race Jeetega

Chintoo : To Baqi Sab Kyu Bhaag Rahe Hain !

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#18

Chintoo Aur Mintoo Ek Baar India Gaye Aur Kisi Ne Unko Kuch Ziyda Pila Di

Chintoo : Yaar Tujhe Maloom Hai ?Bharat Aur Hindustan Ki Jang Hone Wale Hai

Mintoo : Yar Tum Fikar Kyoon Karte Ho , Hum To India Mein Hai Na

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#19

Chintoo Aur Mintoo Picnic Par Jaa Rahe They , Itne Mein Chintoo Gana Gane Lag Gaya

Chintoo : Kis Ka Hai Ye Tum Ko Intezar Main Hoon Na

Kuch Der Ke Baad Chintoo Bus Mein Ulta Latak Gaya Aur Gane Laga

Chintoo : Kaho Na Kaho , Oo Sanam Oo Sanam

Mintoo ( Pareshan Ho Kar ) : Kya Hua Chintoo, Yaar Ye Ulte Latak Kar Gana Kyu Gaa Rahe Ho?

Chintoo : Yar Side B Gaa Raha Hoon

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#20

Chiman: Aap Kitna Padhe Ho?
Friend: B.A.
Chiman: Kamaal Karte Ho Yaar Sirf Do Word Padhe Aur Woh Bhi Ulte

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#21

Chintoo Ne Cycle Chalaate Chalaate Lady Ko Maar Dee

Lady: Break Nahi Maar Sakta Thaa Kya?

Chintoo : ‘Break Ka Kya Hai, Poori Cycle To Mar Dee…..’

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#22

Chintoo : (Doctor Se ), Mai Jab Baat Karta Hoon To Mujhe Sirf Awaaz Sunaai Deti Hai, Aadmi Nahi Dikhta.

Docter : Aaisa Kab Hota Hai?

Chintoo: Phone Karte Waqt.

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#23

Chintoo : A 4 Apple

Mintoo : B 4 Bada Apple

Chintoo : C 4 Chota Apple

Mintoo : D 4 Dusra Apple

Chintoo : E 4 Ekaur Apple

Mintoo : F 4 Fokat Ka Apple

Chintoo : G 4 Gol Apple

Mintoo : H 4 Ho Gaya Na Pet Kharab Khake Itne Sare Apple

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#24

Chintoo Bhai Ek Baar Car Factory Gaye Jab Wo Central Minister They Car Factory Ke Manager Ne Kaha

Manager: Chintoo Bhai Ap Ko Mai ek Car Free Dunga

Chintoo : Nahi Mai Aapse Free Mein Car Nahi Le Sakta

Manager : Chaliye Janab 500 Rs Mein Car Le Leejiye

Chintoo : (Khushi Se ) Chalo ?Phir To Mujhe Do Cars De Do ..

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#25

Chintoo Khud Khushi Karne Ka Soch Kar Railway Station Chala Gaya Aur Waha Per Kuch Chicken Aur

Juice Wagera Le Kar Baith Gaya .. Itne Mein Kisi Sahib Ne Poocha ?Kyoon Bhai ?Ye Sab Kya Hai ?..

Chintoo : Arey Yaar Saali Train Bohat Late Aati Hai .. Mein Ne Socha Kahin Bhook Se Naa Mar Jaauu!!

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#26

Mintoo : Mein Is Duniya Ko Mita Doon Ga , Mita Doon Ga , Mita Doon Ga

Chintoo : Mein Tumhein Rubber Nahi Doon Ga

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#27

What do u do if Chintoo throws a grenade at u?????? Ans) Simple….pull the pin and throw it back…

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#28

Chintoo mobile company mein job lene gaya, pehle hi sawal ka jawab dene par usko bhaga diya.

Sawal tha…Sabse famous network kaunsa hai?…….Chintoo: CARTOON NETWORK

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#29

Friend: My wife died yesterday. I`m trying to cry but tears are not coming out, what to do?

Chintoo: No Problem. Just imagine she came back

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#30

Chintoo is so rich. He has two swimming pools.
Friend: Why one is always empty?
Chintoo: It`s for people who can`t swim

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#31

Chintoo to girl at a dance party: “Kya tum mere sath dance karogi?”

Girl reply: “Main bacche ke saath dance nahi karti.”

Chintoo: Sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnent ho.

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#32

Chintoo: Is ur name Google?

Girl: No!..Why?

Chintoo: Cuz u got everything I am searching For…..

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#33

Once Chintoo Ji was busy reading the prices of shares on TV,
suddenly, his servant came and shouted: Sir your wife fell down.
Chintoo Ji: Sell her immediately.

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#34

Teacher: woh kaun hai jo aasman mein udti hai par bachche zameen pe deti hai?

Chintoo after a deep thought…

?
……?
?
?
?

!!~ Air Hostess ~ :))

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#35

Rich Chintoo: Aaj mere pas 14 cars,18 bikes,4 bunglow,3 farmhouse hai,TUMARE ps kya hai,
POOR Mintoo- Mere pas Beta hai,
.
.
.
…….
.
Jiski GF
teri beti Hai..!!

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#36

Chintoo: The people next door must be poor.
Jeeto: Why do you say that?
Chintoo: Bcoz they made such a fuss when d baby swallowed a 10 paisa coin.

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#37

Chintoo: What are the fastest ways of communication ?
Mintoo: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

Need still FASTER – Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

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#38

Chintoo: Why do Farts stink?
Mintoo: So that Deaf people can enjoy them too!

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#39

Chintoo: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Mintoo: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

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#40

Chintoo-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Chintoo-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

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#41

Chintoo: Tum Itni Der Se Apni Marriage Certificate Me Kya Dekh Rahe Ho..?
Mintoo: Expiry Date Dhundh Raha Hu.

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#42

Chintoo: What is the difference between “complete and finish”?
Mintoo: When you marry a right person you are complete and when you marry the wrong one you are finished !!!!!

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#43

Chintoo-Oye!what R U doing?
Mintoo-Recording this babys voice.
Chintoo-Why?
Mintoo- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this

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#44

Science Teacher: Oxygen is a must for breathing & for life.
It was discovered in 1773.
Chintoo: Thank God ! I am born after 1773 otherwise, I would have died without it.

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#45

19 Friends went to watch a film.
On being questioned about the big group, Chintoo replied that the film was only for above 18…

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#46

Chintoo! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, he jumps from the 100th floor
At the 50th floor, he remembers he doesn’t have a daughter!
At the 25th flr: He’s unmarried!
At the 10th: He’s Mintoo not Chintoo.

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#47

Chintoo ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi
To usne apne baap ki photo kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya Aur Niche Likha
‘COMING SOON’