Comprehensive collection of General Jokes. The compilation includes some good quality text messages which can be shared on various messenger apps and social network platforms. Browse through nice repository of General Jokes with latest and new Jokes being added quite often. You will find some new, unique & interesting Jokes and messages. Explore best and rare collection of General Jokes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from General Jokes, the collection also includes Jokes in other categories.
A best relation is when someone hurt u..U dont hurt back.When someone hit u..U dont hit back,But when someone need u…U always come back..
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#2
Girl-Mujhe Apni Heere ki Ring De Do,ME Ring Ko Dekh K Tumhe Yad kia KrugiBoy- Tum ye Soch k Yaad Karna ki Kamine se Ring Mangi Thi Or Usne Nhi Di
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#3
Ek lardka Ladki se: Kabhi bhi kisi ko patana ho to use apnse dur hi rakhna.Ladki: Isiwajahse tumhe khud se dur nahi jane deti
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#4
Coolest mom of the millenium:Girl: mom, i want some fresh air.. Can i go for a walk?Mom: yes, but tell your “fresh air” to drop you home by 9 pm..!! :-Pawara beti ki awara amma. . . 😀
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#5
GOOD OLD DAYSWhen I was a child, my mother would send me down to the corner store with a 10 Rs, and I’d come back withfive Kgs of potatoes,two loaves of bread,three packs of juices,packets of chocolates & candiesYou can’t do that now……..Too many damn security cameras!!”;-)
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#6
A beggar to another beggar:I had a grand diner at ‘Sareena’ yesterday.Another beggar: how?First beggar: sum 1 gave me 100 rs yesterday,I went 2 ‘Sareena’, ordered dinner worth 2000rs n enjoyed the diner.When the bill came, i said, i had no money.The manager called the policeman n handed me over to him.I gave the 100rs note 2 the policeman n he set me free.
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#7
Don’t Break anyone’s heartThey have only one of it…Break their bones..They have 206 of them.. 😉
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#8
A snake has its poison in its teeth..A dog in its tongue..A scorpio in its tale..Its only the human who have poison in their hearts..!Strange but true!
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#9
Aim in life should b 654321Shocked?6-Six digit salary5-Five working days4-Four wheeler car3-Three room flat2-Two cute childrn1-One sweetheart 😀
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#10
teacher- 1 saal me kitni raten hoti hai.santa-10!!!!teacher- wo kaise??santa- 1 shivratri, aur 9 din navratri!!!!
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#11
Teacher 2 GOLU – Tum Me Kuch Kamiya Hai.GOLU Next Day Coat Pant Pehan K Aata Hai.Teacher: Whats This.? GOLU – Raymond, The Complete Man..
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#12
GIRL-dear,sunday 1st show k BALCONY k’CORNER’wale 2 ticket book kr k Rkhna..BOY-Lekin’CORNER’wale ticket nai mile toH??GIRL-TO MOVIE dekhenge…
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#13
Its better to bunk a class than to study throughly in class.Bcoz,Today when I Look Back.Marks never make me LAUGH.But Memories do…
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#14
Dont Break anyones heartThey have only one of it…Break their bones..They have 206 of them.. 😉
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#15
TAJ MAHAL the symbol of love..but the other lesser known facts:1) Mumtaz was shahjahans 4th wife out of his 7 wives.2) Shahjahan killed mumtaz’s husband to marry her.3) Mumtaz died in her 14th delivery.4) He then married mumtaz’s sister.Question arises.. Where the HELL Is LOVE???
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#16
Mandir Ke Bahar Chappal Rakhne Mein Aur Miss Call Dene Mein Kya Common Hai ?
Socho Nahin Pata ?
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Dono Mein Dar Lagta Hai Koi Utha Na Le…….
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#17
Aunty, Mummy ne chini mangi hai..
Aunty: Achha aur kya kaha mummy ne?
Kid : Agar woh kamini na de, to Pinki aunty se le aana…
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#18
HeadLines of ‘2050’:
1 Rajnikant in ‘DHOOM-22’
2 I will play d next ‘World Cup’ – Sachin
3 Shahid, Saif attended ‘Kareena’s 8th Wedding’
4 Petrol – 984 Rs/Litre
…5 SRK’s Daughter bcums a Heroine wid Big B in ‘Chini Khatam’
6 CID completed 10,00,000 TV episodes
7 Nokia launches new Phone wid 20 SIM Card, 500 GB InBuilt Memory, Camera, Music & Video Player,WiFi, 5G, GPS TV, Fridge & Washing Machine (all in Phone)!
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#19
Once Rajnikanth
went to
McDonalds, He Ordered A Dosa, but
Mr. Mc’Donalds refused…
Since Dat day,
…Mr. McDonald sits outside his own
restaurant!!
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#20
Wife 2 husband: zara kitchen se machis lana.
Husband: yahan to koi machis nahi hai.
Wife: mujhay pata tha tum to ho he andhay tumhain milega he nahi is liye me pehlay he le aayi thi.. 😛
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#21
Afridi, Apni biwi se: Mujhe chai toh dena….
Biwi ne plate m chai dalke di..
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Afridi gusse se bola: Cup mein dalke do!!!!
…Biwi: Cup toh tera Baap Dhoni le jaayega….isi mein peene ki aadat daal ..
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#22
Santa to banta: yaar kal mujhse 1 aadmi mila tha,woh keh raha tha ki mera ghar itna bara hai ki us main local train chalti hai.
Banta: toh tune kya kaha.
Santa: main v keh diya ki mera ghar itna bara hai ki,1 kone se dusre kone main jaane se roaming lagta hai.
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#23
Guy 1: whats the time?
Guy 2: Its time for you to get a watch!!!
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#24
A student called up his physics professor..his wife picked up d phone n said ‘he died last week’
..
Next day student called again..
She again pickd up n said ‘I told u, he died last week’
..
…He called d third time..
Wife said ‘he died.. y do u keep on calling again n again??’
..
..
Student: ‘sun ke acha lagta hai’
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#25
Rakhi Sawant arrived at a station for shooting. And then a bhikhari said to her:
‘behen mujhe 1 rupiya do’
Tab Rakhi ne bhikhari ko 1000 rupiya diya.
Yeh dekh secretary bole-madam apne bhikhari ko 1000 rs kyu diye?
…
Rakhi-aj mujhe pehli bar kisine behen kaha……!!!!
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#26
Ek family Sholey dekhne gayi.
Husband wife se romantically bola, naach Basanti naach..
Tabhi bacha chilaya – Mummy is kuttey ke samane mat nachna.. :D:D
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#27
Rikshewala: Bus Stop k 20 rs.
Santa: Saman b sath me hai.
Riskhewala:- Saman Free hai.
Santa:- Okay saman le chal mai padal aata hu.
…
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#28
MAN: My Wife Died Yesterday, I Am Trying To Cry But Tears Are Not Coming Out What To Do?
FRIEND: No Problem Just Imagine She Is Coming Back!
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#29
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Cheers!!
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#30
Child prayed 2 shivji..
plz give me a cycle but he didnt get.
Next day he stole a statue of ganesha & wrote a letter 2 shivji…
Bacha chahiye to cycle lekar mandir aao
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#31
In 1975 spiderman, superman and batman were flying across india and thay suddenly died.
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Do you know why?
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Yad hai, sholay me GABBAR ne 3 goliya hawa me chalayi thi! (‘,)
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#32
Daughter – I am in love with neighbour, so I am running away with him.
Dad – Thanx dear, u have saved money & time both.
Daughter – Dad ! I m reading this letter left by mom!! 😀
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#33
Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
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Son: I don’t know, they haven’t taught us how to read yet!
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#34
Husband & wife dono hotel me gaye to 1 ladki ne hello kiya.
Wife-Kon thi ye?
Husband-Tum please mera dimag mat kharab karo! Abhi usko b batana hai k tum kaun ho.
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#35
?’one man jumped in sea and never came out..
next day, other man jumped in sea and never came out.
A sardar after watching this concluded..
man is soluble in water..
…modern sardar concluded..
easily dissolves in h2o..’
For more hilarious Jokes Visit – http://indianjokes.mobi/
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#36
santa:doctor sahab apko taankay laganay attay hay?
doctor: haan attay hain kaha laganay hain?
..
…
santa: ye lo chappal pay laga do.
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#37
Patni: Jab tum Desi peete ho mujhe Paro kehte ho, Beer peete ho to Darling.. Par aaj Bhootni kyun?
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Pati: Aaj maine SPRITE pee hai, ‘Seedhi baat no bakwas’
For more hilarious Jokes Visit – http://IndianJokes.mobi/
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#38
Santa and Banta broke into a Bank.
Instead of cash they THEY FOUND Bottles full of Chilled Red wine.
Happily they drank and went away.
Next day Headlines : Blood Bank Looted
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#39
Next Generation SHOLAY Dialouge;
Mom: Beta so jaa Warna Gabar aa jayega.
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Beta: Pehele Rs 100 do,warna Dad ko bata dunga ki mere sone k bad Gabar aata hai.
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#40
Teacher to boy 1 taraf cow hai, 1 taraf dimag tum kya loge?
Boy- cow
Teacher- galat agar me hota to dimag leta
Boy- jiske pas jo nahi hai vo wahi leta hai
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#41
Shaadi mein plate pe tissue paper dekh k santa ne socha ye bhi khaane ki cheez hai.
Jaise hi khaane laga .
Sab sardar chillaaye
oye na kha.
FEEKA HAI.
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#42
A Snake was Hanging on a Tree
Santa was passing by..
Guess what he says ?
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Sirf Latak ne se Height nahi Badhegi,Mummy ko bolo COMPLAN Pilaye!
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#43
Santa ne college khola Banta-yar tu apne college ka sabse alag nam rakhna..
Santa- mai apne college ka nam rakha hai
Read More…
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#44
Santa and Banta sitting out fishing quietly and drinking beer.
Santa says, ‘I think I’m gonna divorce my wife, she hasn’t spoken to me in over 2 months’
Banta continues slowly sipping his beer then thoughtfully says, ‘You’d better think it over mick, women like that are hard to find!!’;-)
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#45
Teacher : Which is the oldest animal in world?
Santa : ZEBRA
Teacher : How?
Santa : Bcoz it is Black & White
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#46
Ek baar chinti hathi k upar beth kar ja rahe hoti hai..
Raste me kacha pul aa jata hai usko dekhkar chinti boli ‘cross kar loge ya me utru?’
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#47
LAZY BOY: Papa 1 glas paani de do,
Papa: Khud uth k pi lo,
Boy: Plz de do na.!
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#48
?3 FRIENDS livin in a room at 100th floor of the building!
One day LIFT not working…!
So they decided to tell a story for time pass!
They start to walk in steps!
1st person told an action story upto 50th floor!
……
2nd person told a comedy story upto 99th floor!
3rd person told most horror story which had only 1 sentence…!
that is
‘I FORGOT THE ROOM KEY IN CAR’.:-D:-D
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#49
Soon weddings will look like this…
Priest: Do u agree to change ur FB status from Single to Married?
Guy: Yes.!
…………
Girl: Yes.!
Priest: You r now Husband and Wife. You may now poke the Bride…!!!
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#50
?1baar Adnan sami k ghar me chor aaya..
Adnan chor K upar baitha Or bola Ramu police ko bula..
Ramu- Sahab chappal nahi mil rahi..
…
CHOR bola-Meri pehen le par Jaldi Jaa…
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