Comprehensive collection of General Jokes. The compilation includes some good quality text messages which can be shared on various messenger apps and social network platforms. Browse through nice repository of General Jokes with latest and new Jokes being added quite often. You will find some new, unique & interesting Jokes and messages. Explore best and rare collection of General Jokes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from General Jokes, the collection also includes Jokes in other categories.
I got some new underwear yesterday. Well, it was new to me.
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#2
I got arrested in LA and boy am I beat!
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#3
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
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#4
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
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#5
I don’t want buns of steel. I want buns of cinnamon.
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#6
I don’t think you are a fool, but what’s my opinion compared to that of thousands of others
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#7
I don’t mean to be mean, but yo mama needs listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole damn bottle.
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#8
I don’t have a solution, but I do admire the problem.
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#9
I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope.
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#10
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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#11
I couldn’t care less about apathy.
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#12
I bet you I could stop gambling.
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#13
I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
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#14
I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not our children’s children, because I don’t think chilldren should be having sex.
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#15
I asked my wife, ‘Where do you want to go for our anniversary ‘ She said, ‘Somewhere I have never been!’ I told her, ‘How about the kitchen ‘
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#16
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
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#17
I am in total control, but don’t tell my wife.
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#18
I am desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
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#19
I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
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#20
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven’t got.
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#21
Hw do U occupy an idiot
Press down – Press up!
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#22
Hw do U kp an idiot amused
W@ch ths message until it goes away!
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#23
Hv U hrd about T magic trac2r
It went down a country road & turned in2 a field.
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#24
Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping.
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#25
Husband says; ‘When I’m gone you’ll never find another man like me’.
Wife replied; ‘What makes you think I’d want another man like you!’
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#26
Husband says’When Im gone you’ll nevr find another man like me’. Wife replied’What makes you think I’d want another man like you !!!’.
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#27
humne suna hai ishq mein ratoin ki neend udda jati hai plzzzzzzz koi humse bhi ishq karo hume ratoin ko neend bahut aati hai.
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#28
HUM NY 1 TEETAR PAKRA AUR PINGRAY MAIN BAND KIA TO WOH PICHY SE NIKAL GAYA.
PHIR PAKRA TO WOH PICHY SE NIKAL
GUSSA AYA PAKRA KATA AUR KAHAYA TO WOH PHIR PICHY SE NIKAL GAYA
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#29
How to you make a dish washer into a snow blower
Give the bitch a shovel
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#30
How to make a squirrel scream Pinch his nuts
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#31
How to kill a mosquito: Catch it alive,Tie its legs then make gudgudi in its stomach and when it laughs,Catch its mouth & pour a spoon of poisson …..
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#32
How much can I get away with and still go to heaven
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#33
How many Zen Buddhiss does it take to screw in a light bulb
Two.
One to screw in the light bulb, and one to not screw in the light bulb.
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#34
How many Peter Crouch’s does it take to change a light bulb
Just him!
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#35
How many of you believe in telekinesis Raise MY hand!
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#36
How many men does it take to open a can of beer
None, it should be open when she brings it to him.
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#37
How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb
None, the seeds of revolution and change are within the lightbulb itself.
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#38
How many letters are in the Alphabet
Nineteen. Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him!
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#39
How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb
None. If the light bulb really needed changing, market forces would have already caused it to happen.
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#40
How many Chinamen does it take to change a lightbulb
Thousands, because Confucious say many hands make light work.
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#41
How many boring people does it take to change a lightbulb
One.
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#42
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies
Three! One to mix the batter and two to peel the smarties!
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#43
How many actors does it take to change a light bulb
10. 1 to change the light bulb and 9 to say it shoud be me up there
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#44
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
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#45
How is a man like the weather
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
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#46
How Dogs and Women are alike…..
Neither believe that silence is golden.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
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#47
How does a pig go to hospital
In a ambulance.
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#48
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink
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#49
How do you tell an old man
It isn’t hard.
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#50
How do you stop a fish from smelling
Cut its nose off
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