Jokes – Set 43 – 2017

#1

Attempt to get a new car for your spouse – it’ll be a great trade!

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#2

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

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#3

At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands.
After dinner, one thing leads to an

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#4

At a church school gathering, one old teacher approached a cute
5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks. ‘I must a
got ’em from my Daddy,’ said the little girl, ”cause Mommy’s still got hers.’

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#5

Asmanme panchi ud raha he furrrrr furrrrr
Asmanme panchi ud raha he furrrrr furrrrr
Asmanme panchi ud raha he furrrrr furrrrr
arey ashman me ud rahahe
to idhar kya dhund rahe ho ashmanme dekhona
ullu ..

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#6

Ask to see my tattoo of a rose, but don t ask outside. I’m constantly bothered by bees.

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#7

As long as I can remember, I’ve had amnesia.

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#8

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

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#9

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

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#10

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity

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#11

Arkansas State Motto: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Laugh

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#12

Are you male or female
To find the answer, look down!!!

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#13

Are you allowed to kiss a nun
Yes. But don’t get into the habbit.

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#14

Apparently, they’ve found Bin Laden, hiding in the Manchester United trophy room. He said it reminded him of his cave in Afghanistan; Large, dark, empty… and just been taken over by Americans.

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#15

Any married man should forget his mistakes because there is no use in remembering two people the same thing.

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#16

Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.

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#17

Angry Boss: tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai.. Executive (Sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.. Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho, meri taraf dekho..

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#18

And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise.

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#19

An unemployed court jester is no one’s fool.

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#20

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys

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#21

An old rich man marry a young girl. Interviewer ask to girl apne inme shadi ke liye kya dekha Girl ek inki in come, doosre inke din kam.

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#22

An old lady walks into a plastic surgeon’s office and tells him she wants a facelift. He says ‘Well, we have three models. The first is for $1000 and is guaranteed for one year, the second is $3000 and is guaranteed for 3 years and the last is $5000 and i

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#23

An old lady owned two monkeys. One day they both died, so she took them to the taxodermist, ‘So you want them mounted ‘ asked the taxidermist. To which she replied ; ‘No. Holding hands will do just fine.’

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#24

An indepth study has shown that the bird flu virus hits the best chicks first. I thought I’d warn you immediately..

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#25

An ice cream van owner was found dead today in his van. The man was discovered under the ice cream dispenser, covered in ice cream, hundreds and thousands and raspberry syrup.
Police believe he topped himself.

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#26

An english man and a desi man were both going to a interview. They were asked to use the colours green. pink and yellow. The english man goes in and says the grass is green, the sun is yellow and the sunset is pink. The desi man goes in and says my phone

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#27

An elderly couple was attending church services,
about halfway through she leans over and says,
‘I just had a silent fart what do you think I should do ‘
He replies ‘Put a new battery in your hearing aid.’

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#28

An angry husband returned home one night to find his wife in bed with a naked man. ‘What are you doing’ he shouted. To which his wife said to her lover ‘I told you he was stupid’

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#29

An AMERICAN couple on african safari. Suddenly a huge lion springs up n seizes d wife wit its giant jaws.. Wife: ‘Shoot!, shoot for Christ’s sake!’ Hus: ‘I can’t! I hav run out of film.’

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#30

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.’Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.’ ‘Have you tried counting sheep ‘ ‘That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.’

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#31

Am I ambivalent Well, yes and no.

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#32

Alzheimer’s advantage: New friends every day.

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#33

Always try to be modest. And be damn proud of it!

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#34

Always try to be modest and be proud of it!

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#35

Always talk to your wife while you’re making love… if there’s a phone handy.

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#36

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.

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#37

All those who believe in psycho kinesis raise my hand.
I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids…

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#38

All power corrupts. Absolute power is pretty neat, though.

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#39

All I ask is a chance to prove money can’t make me happy.

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#40

All generalizations are false, including this one.

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#41

AJIT: Robert, Harshad Mehta the Bull ka stool test karaao
Kyon boss
Pata to chale akhir ye Bullshit kya hota hai

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#42

AJIT: Robert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai
Robert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakke maar raha hai.
Ajit: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega.
Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Robert: Yes Boss.
AJIT: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun

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#43

AJIT: Robert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur
debugger istarrt kar do.
Robert: Lekin kyoon, boss
AJIT: Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.

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#44

Ajit: Rabert, ees kotte ko kala paint laga do!
Rabert: magar, kyoon , boss.
Ajit: aarey bevakoof, main eese blackmail karna chatha koon!

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#45

AJIT: Mona daarrling, tum Toni ke saath ghuumna band kar do,
Mona: Lekin kyon Boss
AJIT: Bahut MonaToni ho jayegee

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#46

Ajeet: Raabutt, use TNT se uda do !
Robert: Lekin Boss, TNT kyon, dynamite kyon nahin
Ajeet: Bevokoof, is-se yeh NTT se nan-NTT ban jayega

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#47

AIK POLICE INSPECTER APNI BARAT WALI CAR MAIN BETHA LARKI WALOON KI TARAF JARAHA THA PECHAY BARATIAN KI BUS ARAHEE THE ……………….. POLICE INSPECTER NAY APNAY SATHI KO CALL KAR KAY KAHA KAY AIK BUS HUMARA BARI DAIR SAY PECHA KAR RAHEE HAY ISAY ROO

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#48

aik bandar ka bacha apni maan say: maa main itna badsurat kyon hoon maa beta khuda ka shukar karo usay dheko jo message pardh raha hai

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#49

Aik admi apni biwi ko dafna kay ghar ja raha tha kay achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai

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#50

aik adimi ne apni wife ko khat likha’is mahene salary k badley 100 kiss bhej raha hoon.wife ne jawab diya ‘app ki salray k badley 100 kiss miley,hisaab bhej rahi hoon.1.doodh wala 2 kiss mea maan giya 2.teacher ko 7 kiss deni pari,3.sabzi wala 7 kiss mea