Jokes – Set 51 – 2017

#1

Boy: Shadi kar k bhag jaye ya bhag kar shadi kare…
Girl: Fati hui chappal se mar khayega ya chappal fatne tak mar khayaga…..

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#2

*Nice patriotic story*
1 pakistani jo Pakistan se nafrat karta tha,
or har waqt problems ki waja se pakistan ko galian deta tha.
Us pe 1 din bijli ka taar gir gaya wo tarap tarap k marne hi wala tha k
light chali gaye
pakistani sari nafrat bhool k khushi bola
“Pakistaaaaan Zindabaad”

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#3

Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it’s a Jersey.
Santa : Oh, I Thought it was its Skin…!!!

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#4

1 memon subha so ko utha to
dekha ke uski biwi mar gaye hay.
Wo foran kitchen me gaya or
apni beti ko galay laga kar rony laga or
bola, 1 banday ka nashta kam banana

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#5

Train me Santa ne apna trunk upar samaan rakhne vali jagah par rakh diya. Neeche Gujarati Gujju baitha tha.
Gujarati Gujju: apna samman kahi aur rakho, mere sirr pe gir jaega
Santa: Koi baat nahi friend, iss me tutne vali koi cheez nahi hai.

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#6

In class room 1 boy was praying Allah Allah.
Teacher: y r u praying in classroom
Boy: Mom advised me that
before sleeping u must pray Allah Allah

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#7

Meaning of Pakistan in 2008
P = Petrol 68.89
A = Aata 26 rs kg
K = Khudkash hamle
I = Ilm ki Kami
S = Sarko Pe Pani
T = Traffic Jam
A = Awam Pareshan
N = No Electricity

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#8

Santa: DOCTOR, AAPKO TAANKE LAGANE AATE HAI.
DOC: HAA AATE HAI,KAHA LAGANE HAI
Santa: YE LO MERI CHAPPAL PE LAGA DO.

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#9

chotu:papa,aaj school me bilkul bhi mar nahi padi.
papa:sabash beta, aase hi roz mar se bacha karo.
chotu:roz roz bum ki aapwah se chutti thori milegi.

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#10

Agar koi apko raat ki tanhai me tang kare,karwate badalnepe majboor kare,chupke se kaan me sargodshi kare aur garden chumle toh..all out lagao machar bhagao!

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#11

My opinions are my wife’s, and she says I’m lucky to have them.

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#12

Husband: Today is sunday,
I have to enjoy it.
So i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why three
Husband: 1 For U and 2 for ur parents.

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#13

AJIT: Robert, Harshad Mehta the Bull ka stool test karaao
Kyon boss
Pata to chale akhir ye Bullshit kya hota hai

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#14

Faqeer:
Baji bhooka hoon, Allah k naam thora sa khana dedo.
Baji: Khana abi nai paka.
Faqeer:Baji number likh lo jab pak jay to misscall de dena,

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#15

1 Mechanical Engineer Ki Wife Ki Delivery Hui.
Usne Husband Ko SMS Bheja
Mubarak Ho Apka Spare Part Aa Gaya Hai
Husband Ne Reply Kya: NUT Wala hai ya BOLT Wala.

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#16

Bahu-maaji ye abi tk nai aye
khi koi dusri Aurat
Saas-kalmuhi tu hmesa ultaSochti h
aisa B to hoSkta h kisi truck k niche aagya ho

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#17

EK BIHARI KI MAUT BIJLI GIRNE SE HUI. PAR US KI LAASH HASTE HUE MILI. BHAGWAN NE PUCHHA: AISA KYUN BIHARI: HUM SOCHA KOI SASURA HUMARI PHOTO

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#18

A pathan & his wife were waiting for train.
Itne me KHYBER MAIL aa gai.
khan bhag k train me charha or apni wife se bola:
Jab KHYBER FEMALE aye to aajana .

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#19

‘You should be ashamed,’ the father told his son, ‘When Abraham Lincoln was your age he used to walk ten miles everyday to get to school.’ ‘Really ‘ the kid said. ‘Well when he was your age, he was President.’

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#20

ßiwi §hohar §y: Aapko Mera ßanaya Hua Halwa Pasand Nai Aaya ßachy To 3 Palaiten kha Çhuky Han
Andar §y Awaz Ai Mama 1 Palate Aur Dena 1 kitab ki Jild Reh Gæ Hy

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#21

Santa,banta dono bhai same class me they
Teacher-Tum dono ne father name alag kyu likha
Brothers-Madam tusi Fir kahoge nakal maar li.

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#22

man knocks d door.
a 10yr old boy cum wid
cigrate & beer in othr.
man:beta papa ghar pe hai
boy:bhutni k,mujhe dekh k lagta,papa ghar pe honge

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#23

Musharraf_ Jab mein paida hua to 51 topen chali thi..
Santa- Kamal hai! Sabka nishana chook gaya

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#24

2nd day after wedding
Bubbli-
Mom I got in fight with my husband
Anti Misba-
It’s part of marital life
Bubbli-
Oh ok but what should I do with the dead body

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#25

bhikari -kuch khane ko de do
ek aurat-baba abhi kuch nahi bana hi.
bhikari-theek hi mera no. le lo jab ban jaega to mujhe miss call kar dena

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#26

Pathan walkng at night.
Samnay gober para tha..
Pathan ne jhuk kr ungli daal kr taste kiya 0r bola
0hh ye to gober
hai..
Shukar hai mera pair nahi para.

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#27

Kitne % bhartiyon ko lgta hy k Salman Khan
Katrina Kaif se Shadi Krega
Ans:10%
bcoz
Rest of the 90% wnts to marry Katrina Kaif themself

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#28

Admi Dukan Dar Se:
Zara Jaldi Se Mujhe Ek Zanana Chapal Dijiye
Dukandar: Nap Batayen
Admi: Nap To Me Lana Bhul Gaya
Khair Aap Meri Kamar Per Nishaan Dekh Len

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#29

Machar aur Makhiki ho gayi shadi.
Pehli hi raat se ho gayi machar ki barbadi,
kehta hai ki meri kismat hi khoti hai,
makhi raat ko goodnight lagake soti hai.

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#30

1 lerki ne molvi se keha: Log mujhe chedte or ghoorte hain, aap hi bataein mai kya karu..
Molvi ne dono bazu phailaa k kaha ‘Aap hamari agosh ma aajaeye’

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#31

Eik sucide bomber nay mulla umer ko message
bheja sir g barood(RDX)thora kaam dala karein!
mein Jannat say bhe thora agay nikal aya hun!!

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#32

1 Andha Police Mein Bhrti Hony K Lye Gya
Officer Ne Poocha Tumhein Hum Kis Liye Rakhein
Andhey Ne Foran Jawb Dya
Andha-Dhund Firing K Lye. . .

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#33

1admi bola jb mere bchy hun gy to
1ko karachi aur 1ko lahore chor aonga
dosra bola wo q
pehla admi bola kal TV pr bta rhy thy k
bchon k drmyan wqfa zrori hy.

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#34

1Din santa ko fansi lagne wali thi. Jailer ne pucha koi akhari khwahish. santa bola’muje fansi dete wqt mere pair upar aur sar nich Rakhna

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#35

Singer To His Neighbor:
Whenever I Sing,
Your Dog Starts Barking.
Neighbor: It Is Not His Fault,
You Start It First.

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#36

santa to halwai: tum kitne sal se jalebhi bana rhe ho.
halwai: 30 sal.
santa: tab bhi tum se jalebhi sidhi nahi bani!

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#37

Jin:Kya hukm hai mere aaka
Aaka:mere a/c me 10 crore cash aur Katrina se shaadi 10 second me kara do
Jin:Aaka! hukm karo, haramipan nhi..

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#38

Chinti aur Hathi ka Prem Vivah hua. Agle Din Hathi ki Maut ho
gai…!! Chinti Boli Wah Mohabbat, EK din ka pyar hua, ab sari
umra kabr khodnemai bitegi..!!

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#39

Teachr:Water ka formula batao.. Studnt:H2 MgCl NaCl HNO3 HCl etc.. T:Whats this S:Sir,this is polluted water of river Ganga! -Think abt it

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#40

A man was telling his neighbor,
I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars,
but it’ s state of the art. It’ s perfect.
Really, answered the neighbor .
What kind is it
MAN: Twelve thirty.

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#41

Aik dewar pe lika tha, Kutta thook raha hy
Pathan ne wahi par thooka aur hans ne laga hahaha
Thooka ham ne naam kutte ka aya.

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#42

Shohr: maalum hota he k daraaz me koi khane ki chiz he.
Bivi: Aap ne bilkul sahi andaza lagaya is me mere sendel hen. . . ;->

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#43

Salesman tension me tha. DEALER-Kya hua S.MAN-Mai 6 months tour pe tha, biwi Pregnant ho gai DLR-Ab pata chala bina order k maal aye to kaisa lagta hai..

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#44

Wife:kal rat tum mujhey neend
mein galian kion de rahey thai
Husband: tumhey ghalat fehmi hoi hai..
Wife: kesi ghalat fehmi
Husband: yehi k mein neeend mein tha

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#45

Aadmi Sadhu se bola:-Meri Biwi Bahut Pareshan Karti Hai,Koi Upaay Bataao.Sadhu Bola:-Saale Upaay Hota To Main Sadhu Kyon Bantaa.Hari Om..

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#46

Once a Santa joins a car driving school..
Banta: abe tera driving skool kaise chal raha hai
kuch aata hai kya tujhe
Santa: haan yaar..
ab horn badi acchi tarah se baja leta hoon

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#47

******************
******************
******************
******THE END******
You have just watched my new film
“Taare mobile per”

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#48

Boy1: Meet my wife Tina
Boy2. Oh! I know her
Boy1: How
Boy2: v were caught sleeping together
Boy1: What the hell
Boy2: during lecture in maths class
Think +ve:)

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#49

JEWELLARY SHPO ME 1 AADMI KI JAM KAR PITAI HUI
KARAN
VO SALES GIRL KO BOLA
AAP KI EK EK ITEM GAZAB KI HAI
AAP KE SONE KE RATE KYA HAI.

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#50

Santa becomes driver of a train. The 1st train driven by him was 8 hours late b`coz he stopped at every halt and asked ‘ Is this the right track for Amritsar ‘