Jokes – Set 53 – 2017

#1

santa train ka driver ban gya,pehli hi baar train 8 ghante late ho gye, kyuki har phatak per train rok kr pushta hai ki 22g abohar nu eh line jandi hai.

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#2

Dost dost na raha.
Piyar piyar na raha.
Jab jaib se paisey khatam hogaey.
To dukaan pe udhaar na raha.

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#3

Ek din RAWAN disko gaya–aur wo behons ho gaya..
soncho kyon

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#4

kyonki disko me Entry ke liye 5000 Rs. per head tha..ha..ha..ha..ha..ha..

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#5

Q: Why are Egyptian’ s Children always confused
A: Because after death,
their daddy becomes the mummy.

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#6

A boy on Date With Gal in BMW. Jaan ! Maine tumse ek baat chupaai hai ki I’m already married.
Girl: Oh GOD! Tumne To dara he dia, main Samjhi ye Car tumhari nahi.

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#7

Doctor Santa and Priest loved the same girl. Priest started giving an apple to the girl everyday. Doctor Santa asked: Why Priest: Coz an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

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#8

Ek doctor k clinic k bahar lambi line lagi huithi.. Ek sardar bar bar line me ghusta aur log ose bahar phenk dete. Usney kaha agay raho salo mai bhi clinic nahi kholunga

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#9

Santa- yaar uth bhookamp aa raha hai! sara ghar hil raha hai..
Banta- Soja soja! Ghar girega to makaan malik ka girega! hum to kirayedaar hain

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#10

Son:Papa,Sab log Shadi Karke Pareshan hain,To Shadi Kyo Karte Hain. Papa:Beta,Akal Badaam Khane se nahi,Thokar Khake Ati He

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#11

Santa writing in his Diary-
.
.
.
My sister had a baby this morning!
.
.
.
I haven’t heard if its a Boy or Girl..
.
.
.
So I dont know whether I’m MAMA or MAMI..

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#12

Wife : Ek baat bolu
Husband : Bolo
Wife : Maaroge to nahi
Husbund : Nahi to, kya baat hai
Wife : mai pregnant hun
Husband : Hurray!!! Its gud news, dar kyu rahi thi
Wife : College ke dino mai papa ko bataya tha to badi maar padi thi.

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#13

Teacher:’ What is your name ‘.
Student: ‘ Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.’
Teacher:’ When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.’
Student:’ My name is Sunlight

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#14

. SMOKE everyday!
SMOKE means
S=send
M=me
O=one
K=kool SMS
E=everyday
So plz feel free to Smoke.request u 2 b a Chain Smoker.gud day………. SNZNBRA

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#15

Ek baar priyanka chopra apni scooty pep se jaa rahi thi. Beech rastey mai usse toilet lagi. Voh scooty se utar ke road ke kinarey mein karne lagi.
Ek aadmi ne guzarte hue dekha aur kaha ki aap yaha,aise toilet kyu kar rahi hai….
Priyanka ne kaha ‘WHY SHOULD BOYZ HAVE ALL D FUN’

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#16

2 mendak baithe the.
1 bola: tarr.
2ra bola: tarr.
1 fir bola: tarr.
2ra fir bola: tarr.
1 bola: farr.
to 2ra bola: yaar! tu topic change mat kar..

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#17

1st sardar: yar kal main bathroom gaya to wahan shair(lion) tha.
2nd sardar: haan phir tumney kiya kiya
1st sardar: kuch nahin main ney shair sey kaha k aap karlo
Mery to wesay hi nikal gai hai

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#18

santa-agar mere hath me sarkar ho to
me desh ki taqdir badel dunga.
wife-tum pehle apna pajama tobadal lo subha
se ulta pehn rakha hai.

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#19

Chand lamho ki zindagi hai,
Nafraton se jiya nahi karte,
Lagta hai dushmano se guzarish karni padegi,
Kyunki aap to ab sms kiya nahi karte.

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#20

Old man walking on the street,
sees a child trying 2 reach a door bell.
Old man goes to the door,
rings the bell & says: what else
Child:Uncle ab bhagoo!

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#21

Santa: Main Ne SANIA MIRZA
Se Phone Par Baat Ki..
Banta: That’ s Great Yaar..
Uss Ne Kya Kaha..
Santa: Uss Ne Kaha..
:
:
:
Wrong Number.. 🙁

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#22

Kabadewala: Bahanji, Ghar Me Bekaar Ka Faltu Saman Ho To De Dijiye. Mahila: Tum Galat Samay Par Aaye Ho Wo Abhi Bahar Gaye Hain.

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#23

Q: What’ s preferable…Parkinsonism or Alzheimer A: Parkinsonism. It is better to spill half glass of beer than forgetting where you had kept bottle!

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#24

Agar…
MUSHARRAF,
SHAUKAT,
ALTAAF,
BENAZEER,
NAWAZ,
FAZAL,
QAZI
aek kashti main duub rahay hoon tho kon bachay ga
Guess..
Guess!
‘PAKISTAN’

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#25

Santa:Mujhe phone par dhamkiya mil rahi hai.
Police: kaun woh
Santa: BSNL wale, bolte hai bill nahi bhara to kaat denge

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#26

A police recruit was asked during exam, ‘What would u do if u had to arrest ur own
mother ‘ He said, ‘Call for backup.’

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#27

Dying husband: I have something to tell you. Wife: Don’t speak, just rest. Husband: No, I must confess, I had sex with your sister and your best friend. Wife: Sshhh. I know! That’s why I poisoned you!

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#28

Agar do pipal ke ped ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge
Socho
Socho Us rassi ko bolenge ‘NOKIA’-connecting pipal !

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#29

vo kaun sa dept h jahan aurte kam nahi kar sakti
santa fire bregade.
banta vo kyon
santa kyonki aurto ka kam to aag lagana hota hai.
aag bhughana nahi

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#30

Santa Banta ko . Yaar lag raha hai menu bird flue ho gaya
Banta :-> Tenu keda pata
Santa :-> Yaar mera hai na kal se udne ko man kar raha hai.

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#31

Pathan: Molvi sahab wazu k baghair namaz ho jati hai
Movie: Nahi hoti
Pathan: Ho jati hai yara
Molvi: Bhai, nahi hoti
Pathan: Hojati hai, mene khud perh k dekhi hai.

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#32

Bank Manager- Asks Santa In Interview- Wat Is Cyclone
Santa- It Is Smallest Loan Given To Purchase A Cycle.

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#33

Father to son after exam: ‘let me see your report card.’
Son: ‘My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents

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#34

Zardari MILK SHOP per gaya
Zardari= Bhai 1 kilo Doodh dena kuttay k liye
Doodh wala= Yaheen piyo ge
Ya
Pack kardon

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#35

Conductor 2 student: Roj door pe khade rehto ho, tera baap watchman he kya
Student: Tu humse roj paise mangta he, tere baap BHIKARI h kya

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#36

Allama Iqbal farmatay hain .
ooper se sab dekh raha hon Faraz ka haal iqbal,
Acha hi hua k mene koi asan shair nahi banaya

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#37

Ye Badalti Rutai’ n
Ye Dubte Huey Arman
Ye Terti Hui Musafatai’ n
Ye Jalte Diye
Ye Pighalte Huey Badan
Ye Bhujti Shame’ n
Ye Kch Or Nhi Srf
.
.
.
KESC Ki Beghairti Hy . ;->

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#38

An in-depth study has shown
that the bird flu virus hits the best chicks first.
I thought I’d warn you immediately..

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#39

Sardar g ne wife ko letter likha………
is month’s salary ke badle 100 kiss bhej raha hu…
Wiffe replie…ap ke 100 kiss mile, doodhwala 2 kiss mai man gaya ,,’
sir ko 7 deni padi, sabziwala 7 main nai mana 9 deni padi….’ kirane
wala sirf kiss se nai mana, maakan malik, to roj 5 ya 6 le jata hai
ap chinta na kare mere pass 35 padi hai . or jo yeh par raha hai uuse
b 2-4 deni padegi…..baki sab thk hai …..!

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#40

Ek press wala Laaloji se poonchta hain:
Aap ne apne ghar me 11 bachee kaise kiye
To Lalooji bole:
Kyunki hum rubber se jyada rabdi ko use kiya hu na!

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#41

lalu goes to a shop and ask…
‘yeh bandarva ki photu kitne ka hai ‘
shopkeeper: voh phutwa nahin sahib wo to seesa(mirror) hai

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#42

Santa’ s donkey was missing
Santa’ s donkey was missing. Santa was praying and thanking God. Banta saw him and asked, Your donkey is missing; Why are you thanking God Santa: I am thanking Him because I wasn’ t riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would also have been missing.

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#43

Jane: Why are you crying
Tarzan: The elephant is dead.
Jane:Was he your pet
Tarzan:No, but i am the one who must dig his grave!

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#44

PHYSICS TEACHER –
Now as you all know
the Law of Gravity
explains why we
Stay on Earth.
PAPPU – But Where
did people stay
Before the law
was passed.

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#45

Height Of
Self-Confidence
Teacher Asks Student:
‘Why Are You Late… ‘
Student:
‘Late .. !!!
Who Me …
No Way Sir ! I’m Alive …’ =P =D

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#46

Santa: o yar!
Me kal film dekhne theater gaya!
Wahan such much admi ko kat rahe thy
Banta: o tu konse theater gaya tha
Santa:
Operation Theatre

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#47

Grl-Will u marry me
Santa-No,Hmare me shadi relatives me hi hoti he,
Maa ne papa se ki,Didi ne jijaji se or me b apni BV se hi kruga

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#48

Doctor: aap ko brain tumour hai.
santa: Oh, that’s GREAT !!.
Doctor: Aap itni khush kiyun hai
santa: Iss se yeh sabit hota hai ke mere paas brain hai

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#49

Banta got a sms from his girl friend: I MISS YOU
Banta replied: I Mr. YOU !!.

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#50

Sardar1 : Bara dukh howa si teri wife di
mout ki khabar sunker, wase hoya ki si
Sardar2 : Goli lagi si matthe vich.
Sardar1 : Shukar rabb da ankh bach gai.