Jokes – Set 67 – 2017

#1

Sherni ke ghar waalo ne haathi ka rishta kyon
Nahi liya . socho .
Thoda sa aur socho .socho. ..socho.. .
Yaar unke ghar ka aapsi maamla hai,
Tumko kya lena dena hai.

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#2

A boy who has the permission to enter into girls bath room and
Touch where ever he likes.whos it,can u gess ans. Life boy

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#3

Biwi shohar se: aaj ap daftar se jaldi kese aa gae
Shohr: achanak mere boss ko gusa aa gaya
or bola jahanum mein jao,
to me foran utha or tumhare pas chala aya.

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#4

Ek ladka achanak ladki ko dekh ke bola- Lafz tere geet mere! Gazal koi sunaun kya kya
Ladki- Haath mere gaal tere! Kaan ke neeche bajaun kya

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#5

ek admi apni shadi nahi kar pa raha tha
say why
kyonki koi use ladki dene ko taiyar nahi tha……..

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#6

Santa jngl me:Samne sher aya,santa mitti sher ki ankh me dalke bhagne lga,banta wahi ruk gya santa:abe bhag banta:me kyun bhagu mitti tune dali he

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#7

Santa: Dr. sahab ‘Plastic Surjery’ karvane me kitna kharcha aaega.
Dr: 5 lakh
Santa: Agar ‘Plastic’ hum de to..

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#8

A new teacher joins school. He find 2 boys similar in appearance.
Teacher: Kya tum dono judwa ho
Boys: Nahi, Hum dono padosi hai.

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#9

What is the similarity between Aamir Khan in Ghajini and Detailing to Doctors.Both cant remember anything after 15 minutes..Short-term memory

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#10

Harassed Husband: Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner.
Wife: What Are you crazy The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I can’t cook meal.
Husband: I know all that.
Wife: Then why did you invite the friend
Husband: Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.

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#11

Usama asked Kajol, how’ s ur life
She replied, kabhi khushi kabhi ghum.
Then Kajol asked Usama, what abt U
He replied, kabhi BUSH kabhi BOMB.

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#12

One Drunk to Another :
When I die I want
you to pour a bottle of Whisky over my body.!
2nd. : Sure.! But would
you mind if I filter it thru my kidneys first.

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#13

I want to share Everything with you.
Your JOYS,
Your SADNESS,
Your HAPPY MOMENTS
Every single second of day
Let us START with your ATM Password first.

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#14

yair ko maen ne dil deiy tufa samje ke @ kha giey sumusa samaj kara

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#15

wife: ap apne frend ki wife k janaze pe nahi gaye.
hus: kis muh se jau
vo mujhe tisri biwi k janaze pe bula raha hai or mai use ek bar bhi bula nahi paya

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#16

Santa, yaar tum subah se mitti khod rahe ho , kaya baat hai
Banta, kuch nahin yaar
Dada ji ne kaha hai ‘ ki maine unka naam mitti me mila dia hai’ bas vo doondh raha hoo.

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#17

A girl asked ~hujur can i kiss my lover Hujur:Astagfirullah.Girl:Can I kiss my boyfriend Hujur:Nowjubillah. Girl:Can I kiss you Hujur:Why not Alhamdulilla

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#18

Only Historian can become
Great Husband because as thing(wife) become older his interest rises.

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#19

Lady to Conductor: Bhai,Kitne Hrs. Bus Mein Rehte Ho Conductor:24 Hrs. Lady: How Cond:8Ghante Iss Bus Mein Baaki 16Ghante Biwi K Bus Mein.

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#20

Ek makhi ki halat bht kharab thi woh doctor k pass gai,
Doctor: kiya hua
Makhi: bus chai(tea) main gir gai thi, Parhne wale sahab ne choos choos ker halat kharab ker di.

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#21

Beta: baap idhar aa
Baap: beta papa ko aise nahi bolte
Beta: to kaise bolte hai
Baap: izzat se
Beta: baap izzat se idhar aa

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#22

Sardar & sardarni in Bus: Sardarni: Suno ji, peechay wala mere blouse mai hath dal raha hai
Sardar: Tu chinta mat kar osay kia pata ke Betwa mere pas hai

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#23

Dehati aurat cheque cash karwane bank gayi
Clerk: Yahan sign karo
Aurat: Kaise
Clerk: Jaise letter ke aakhir mein likhti ho
She wrote: AAP KE MUNNE KI MA

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#24

patient asks doctor: yeh foolon ki mala kis liye doc. agar operation successful hua toh mere liye nahin toh tumhare liye!!

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#25

1 Pathan Ne 1 Molvi Se Kuch Pocha,
Molvi Ne 2 Thapar Laga Diye .
1 Admi Ne Pathan Se Pocha Tum Ne Kya Bola
Pathan: Main Ne Sirf Poocha,
Ke 14 August Ki Namaz Kahan Hogi .

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#26

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.
The guy replies: ‘Thanks for the early warning.’

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#27

Guiness Book Of World Record
Aik Pakistani Ne Kal 24 Ghanton
Tak Pani Me Saans Band Kr K Naya
Record Qaim Kiya
.
.
.
.
.
.
” Janaza Aaj 4 Bajay Hai ”

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#28

ChiLd 2 Dentist Doctor ..!!
Kya Dard K Bgair Bhi Daant Nikalay ja sAktay Hain
Dentist:Nahi..!
ChiLd: Agr Main NikaL doOn
Doctor: NikaLo.
ChILd:He he he he

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#29

Dr:jab apko pta tha chipkali apke kaan me ghus rahi hai to aap chup Q the
Santa:pahle Cockroach gaya tha to muje laga ki chipkali use pakdne ja rhi thi

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#30

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog,
keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog,
seconds dog! …
Now read without the word dog

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#31

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia
The mafia wants either ur money or life… The wives want both!

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#32

Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them.

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#33

Bas chali, Jhatka laga
1 ladka 1 ladki par ja gira.
Ladki boli, Badtamez! Kya kar rahe ho
Ladka bola, Vidyapeeth University se BAMS!!

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#34

RAM -yaar relince k har phone ke piche 3G CDMA kyu likha hota hai
SHYAM – Oye itna bhi nahi malum 3 Gujrati Chor Dhiru Mukeshbai Anil (ambani)

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#35

Rahul: Doctor saab ek samasha hai
Doctor: Kay
Rahul: Mujay 7:00am 1 Number jana hota hai aor 8:ooam 2 number
Doctor: to problem kay hai
Rahul: may 9 bajy se phaly uttha he nahi

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#36

Piece of PHILOSOPHY :
Small things hurt a lot
Example :
u can sit on a mountain
but not on a pin..!

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#37

2 sardar were playing chess
1st – ab bas hua hum khel band karte hain
2nd – thik hai , vaise bhi tumhara ghora aur mera hathi he baki hai .

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#38

in chemistry class teacher asked a girl:what r Nitrates Girl answered shyly:nights rates r high then day ..!

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#39

santa won loottery worth rs.20cr…….
dealer gave him 11cr after deductinjg tax ….
santa : oye dealer … ya muje pure 20cr dede ya to mere 20rs vapas kar de ….

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#40

SANTA- I saw my wife going to movie with watchman Friend- Didn’t U follow them SANTA- No yaar, I have already seen that movie..!

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#41

Define Girl friend:->
girl frnd wo hoti hai jo ldke ko tok-tok ker uski sari aadtein badal deti hai aur baad main kehti hai.
tum pehle jaise nahi rehe….

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#42

Q:’nari’ka matlab kya hai
Ans:nari ka matlab hai ‘shakti’
Q:to fir purush ka matlab kya hai
A:’sehan shakti’

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#43

1 Jamadar Gutter Main Jhuk Kar Kachra Nikal Raha Tha.
1 Pathan Wahan Se Guzarte Huey Ruk Kar Bola.
Yar 2 Roti Mera B Laga Dena . .

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#44

Officer: madam swimming is prohibited in this lake.
Lady: then why dint you tell me when I was removing my clothes
Officer: well, that’s not prohibited

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#45

TEACHER:
what is the different between
problem and challenge
STUDENT:3boys+1girl=problem
1boy+3girls=challenge..

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#46

Munabhai-Ye sali govt drinking nd driving sath2 Q nahi karne deti Circuit-Simple hE bhai.Bhai wo speed breakar aane par gilas gir sakta he.

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#47

The doctor told Santa
The doctor told Santa that if he ran 8 kms a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Santa called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. Doc: What’ s the problem Santa: I am 2400kms away from home.

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#48

Santa:
Yaar Koi Aisa Karobaar Bata Jis Mein Ziada Munaafa Ho
Banta:
Aisa Kar Sardiyon Main Sasti Baraf Le Kar Garmiyon Main Baich Dy

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#49

Doctor:Madam, your husband needs rest
and pease so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him
Doctor:They are for you.!!

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#50

Aik pagal dosre pagal se:
Latifa kisey kehtey hain
Dosra pagal: Latif ki B.V ko