Jokes – Set 70 – 2017

Comprehensive collection of General Jokes. The compilation includes some good quality text messages which can be shared on various messenger apps and social network platforms. Browse through nice repository of General Jokes with latest and new Jokes being added quite often. You will find some new, unique & interesting Jokes and messages. Explore best and rare collection of General Jokes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from General Jokes, the collection also includes Jokes in other categories.

#1

Ek conductor ki shadi ho rahi thi, jab Dulhn phero ke waqt uske pas akar baithi to vo bola thoda pas ho k baith, ek sawari or baith sakti hai.

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#2

Santa TV showroom me jate hai.
Santa: Kya aapke pas color TV hai
Salesman: Yes sir.
Santa: Ik green wala dena.

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#3

300 arab.. 4crore.. 8 lakh.. 55 thousand.. 1hundred.. 86only Ye mera bank balance nahin hai to kia hua,mera mobile number to hai na.:-)

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#4

Kaam kaam kaam
10 to 5 tak kaam
uske baad ek shaam
ush shaam mein aapke liye ek pyara sa jaam
ush jaam se aap hamesha k liye jaam
to bhool jao kaam

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#5

jin ask man :hukumm mere aaka main tumhare liye kya paish karoon,
man:mujhe rehne ke liye ik makan de.
jin:aaka agar mere pass makan hota tou main kya bottle main raheta.

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#6

dOOR gaon, main jab
maan baap sotay nahi they,
to bacha kehta hai,
so ja bapu
so ja.
warna ek aur ho jayega.

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#7

Banany wale ne ek DOST mere lia banaya hy,
Jise aap k roop mein mainey paaya hay,
Jo mere dil main aise samaya hy,
Jaise purani haeli main “BHOOT” ka saaya hay

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#8

Girl: hw many times a day do u shave
Boy: forty or fifty
girl: are u crazy
Boy: no, i m a barber

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#9

ustaad pathan se pakistan k kitny soobay hay
pathan (4)
ustaad sahabash un k naam batao pathan: mashrik, maghrib, shumal, junoob.

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#10

santa:ek achi news hai or ek bad news
banta:achi news
santa:meri patni ka accident ho gaya
banta:or bad news
santa: wo ek sapna tha

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#11

Law Of Reverse Dynamics:
When A Man Becomes Rich
He Becomes Naughty &
When A Woman Becomes Naughty.
She Becomes Rich…

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#12

Ek dost ne Santa se pucha- yaar tu hamesha foreign channel kyu dekhta rehta he
Santa- Yaar kuch bijli to unki bhi kharch hone do

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#13

Doctor: Bachey ko paani
dene se pehle boil kar
lena chahiye .
Sardar: Lekin Janab
Boil karne se bacha
marr toh nahi jaye ga!!

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#14

Banta to wife: You must marry Santa after my death. Wife: But why He is your number one enemy. Banta: This is the only way to take revenge from Santa.

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#15

Teacher- Soch or Veham me kya fark hai,.. Student- aap ki beti sundar hai ye hamari soch hai,or woh hamare hath se bach jayegi ye aapka veham hai.

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#16

Sante ne Apni Biwi ko Dost k sath ghumte hoye dekh kr Dost ko goli mar di
biwi boli
Apne Gusse pe kabu rakho Varna 1din sare Dosto se Hath
dho bethoge.

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#17

Gabbar: Are O Samba, ye SMS parhnay wala
MONKEY hai k DONKEY
Samba: sardar agr reply kia to
MONKEY, nahin kia to DONKEY, Abi pata chal jai ga.

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#18

Santa bahut pareshaan tha usse kisi ne pucha santa itne pareshaan kyu ho to santa bola are yaar ek dost ko plastic surgury ke liye 2 lakh rupayee diye the ab phechan nahi paa raha hoo.

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#19

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss
TRACY : I did once. He’d forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

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#20

Memon At Petrol Pump
Bhai 1rs Ka Petrol Dal Do
Salesman: Bhai Itna Sara Petrol Dalva
K Kahan Jana Hai
Memon: Jana Kahan Hai Hm
To Aise Hi Paise Urate Hen

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#21

Santa Ki Amma Mar Gayi-
1Admi Bola
Amma Mujhe B LeJati
2-4 Or Bole:Amma Hme B Le Jati.
Santa:Chup HoJao
KUTO
Amma Kya
Tata-Sumo Krke
Gyi hai…

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#22

Molvi Sahib: Jis Jis ne boyz k sath sex kya hai usko qayamat k din
usi boy ko apne kandhay pe uthaa karr pull-saraat paar karna hoga.
Ek Pathaan zor zor se ronay lagga phir achhanak hansne lagga, logo ne poocha ye kya baat hai
pathan bola mujhe bahut se larko ko kandho pe uthana hoga leken phir socha k mein khud bhi tu Gul khan k kandhay parr hoonga 🙂 :))

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#23

Married men live longr thn single men do,bt married men r a lot mre willng 2 die

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#24

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

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#25

A 10 year old boy went to an ice-cream shop& asked How much a cone costs Waiter said:RS.15 The boy started counting how much he had in his purse Then he asked how much a small cup cost Waiter said:RS.12 The boy asked for a small cup He had it,paid bill&left When the waiter came to pick the empty cup,he was touched The boy had left RS.3 coins as tip for him MORAL:Try giving something to everyone out of whatever little you have..

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#26

Murga aur Murgi ki Love Story.
Murga: I Love You, I can do anything for you.
Murgi: You can do anything for me
Murga: Yes ofcourse………..>>>>>>>>>>
Murgi: Ok, to ek anda de k dikhao……….

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#27

Why do boys go to temple B’cause temple is the only place where u can find pooja bhavana shradha aarti archana aradhana shanti Jyoti priti & finaly Trupti

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#28

Baap: beta shadi k din susral walay
ghari dein tu suit mang lena.
Scooter dein tu car mang lena,
dokan dien tu ghar
beta: dady larki dein tu oski maa mang lon

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#29

Tumhare brain ki X-Ray report aa gayi hai.
10g mitti 10g kankar-pathar 25 type k kidi-mkode,5g makdi k jale n 500g bhusa.
kamal hai…!
mujhe laga khali hoga..

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#30

BHIKARI: KUCH KHAANE KO DO BABA…
AADMI : TAMATAR KHAO.
BHIKARI: ROTI DE DO BABA…
AADMI : TAMATAR KHAO.
BHIKARI: TO CHALO TAMATAR HI DE DO.
AADMI KI PADOSI BOLTI HAI: YEH TOTLE HAIN. KEH RAHE HAIN ‘KAMAKAR KHAO’.

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#31

Ek operation ke bad patient bola-‘Doctor saal kya ab me thik hu ‘ Jawab mila-‘Doctor to neeche reh gaya mai to Chitragupt hu’

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#32

Teacher: Most of the tamillians or having black color face! Why
Student: Bcoz they or always watching SUN & SURYA TV

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#33

I’m on a mission!
Mission to make u cute,
2 make u beautiful,
2 make u smart,
2 make u genious.
.
.
.
.
in short.
.
.
.
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE

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#34

women are unpredictable,before marriage,she xpects a man,after marriage she suspects him,and after death she respects him.

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#35

The Best Punishment To A Boy –
Give Him A Mobile Vith Lots of Balance And Girl’s Phone Numbers,
And Leave Him At A Place Vhere There Is No Network…

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#36

Kid (on mobile cell phone): My son will not come to school today.
Madam: Who is speaking
Funny Kid: My dad is speaking.

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#37

Washing Pwder Nirma
Washin pwdr Nirma
Dudh c Safedi Nirma s Aye
Rangin Kapda
B Khil-2 Jae
AAP Ko Kuch b Bhejo Pdte zrur H
wo b TONE k satH

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#38

Musician: Is the music sweet
Boy: More or less like the one which my father plays.
Musician: Your father a musician
Boy: No, he is a carpenter.

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#39

Patient: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis k liye Doctor: ye mera pehla operation hai . Success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye..

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#40

Baap: beta jab koi buzurg khara ho to apni jaga usay baithnay k liye de diya karo.
Ek din beta apnay baap ki god mein baitha tha k dada aa gaye. Beta ek dam se khara hua aur kehne laga: aayen dadajan yahan baithen.

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#41

Santa Ne Najaiz Ghar Banaya Ksi Ne Mashwara Dia
Ghar K Bahar Aisi Chowking Krdo K Police Smje Porana Ghr Hy
Santa Ne Dewar Pe Likha
Anarkali Ko Riha Kro

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#42

Aik pathan apnay kandhay per aik Pakistani
totay (parrot) ko bitha ker jaa raha tha..
Kisi nay pocha: Yeh kon sa janwar hai
tota(parrot) bola: PATHAN

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#43

Wife: Kya kar rahe ho
Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.
Wife: Kitni mari
Man: 3 male aur 2 female.
Wife: Kaise malum
Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se…

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#44

Police see a
villages sat on a bufalo
P: where is ur helmet
Pay 50/- fine
gess
wat wise villages told this is not 2 wheeler it’s 4 wheeler

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#45

Santa apni biwi k office gaya
to usne dekha k uski biwi
boss ki godi me baithi dictation le rahi thi.
Santa:- Chal LAajo, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna
jahan staff k liye kursi bhi na ho.

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#46

Apka ghar hum
zaroor ayengey,
har pal ayengey,
har waqt ayengey,
din bhar ayengey,
aur
aur
aur
bell bajakar bhag jayengey..

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#47

Ek aadmi telescope se aasmaan dekh raha tha aur santa singh us aadmi gaur se dekh raha tha
tabhi aasmaan me ek taara tuta aur santa jor se chillaya….. wah! wah! wah! babu ji kya khub nishana lagaya hai maja aa gaya .

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#48

Bacha apne Papa ke shadi ke video dekhtehue: papa mujhe bhi apne shadi me item girl nachwana hai.
Papa : Abe ye tere Bua hai Item Girl nahi.

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#49

Once a donkey kickd a sardar n ran away. Sardar ran 2 catch d donkey, he saw a zebra n strtd beatng it n said ‘track suit pehen ke aaya to mai pahchanunga nahi kya …’

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#50

Teacher: Y r u late
Student: A boy was following me.
Teacher: So
Student: He walked too slowly!!

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