Jokes – Set 74 – 2017

#1

Ek Bar ek School me ek master ji Ek ladke ko khada kar ke bolte hai ki Batao Mohan Taj mahal kaha hai Mohan Bola pata nahi guru ji To Master ji bole Banch per khade ho jao Mohan Bola Abhi bhi nahi dikh raha hai Master ji

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#2

Girlfrnd:
chand kitny hoty hain
Boyfrnd:
2,
1 Tum
or
1 wo oper
After Meriage
Wife:
Chand kitne hoty hain
Husband:
Anni diye,
Nazr nai anda
1 E honda aa..

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#3

Guys playing cards
Guy1 : I Promised
my wife I’ ll Not Play
Cards anymore
Guy2 : Then what the hell
are you doing now
Guy1 : I Never promised
I Won’ t Tell Lies.

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#4

Teachar-2 aisi cheezo k naam batao,jinhe nashte me nhi kha skte
Santa-Sir,LUNCH AUR DINNER

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#5

Teacher :Sam, you talk a lot !
Sam :Its a family tradition.
Teacher :What do you mean
Sam :Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.
Teacher :What about your mother
Sam:She is a woman..

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#6

Ek admi dosrey admi se
‘ye bachey itne shararti kyun hotey hain’
DOsra bola
‘Jo cheez banti sharaRat se hy wo sharif kasey ho sakti hey’

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#7

How to develop positive thinking Watch F-TV.Bcoz u always think ‘Arey yaar ok theek hai,yah nahi to agli model ke kapde me se kuch dikhega’

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#8

Chemistry ke prof. ne ek ladki se puchha :
Whar is NITRATE
Ladki Sarmate huye boli : S
Si
Sir
Sir 2500/per night and hotel ka lagse.

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#9

Ek bus mein bahut bheed hone ke karan ek ladki ne ek ladke se kaha, are bhaijaan jara side toh dena Ladka: Are kyon konfuse karti hai ya toh bhai bol ya jaan bol

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#10

Bania market jata hai underwear purchase karne.
Bania: Yeh kitne ka hai
Shopkeeper: Rs 500.
Kanjoos Bania: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, party wear nahi.

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#11

20% of the population is now drinking coffee,
60% is having sex, 19% is watching television
and
one idiot is now holding his mobile in his han

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#12

Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyr

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#13

Dad : Why aren’ t you doing well in History.
Little Kid : Because the Teacher keeps asking me about the things that happened Before I was Born.!

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#14

Ek sardar was running with his cycle.
Person- Y ru running cd cycle U can sit & ride d cycle!
Sardar- Arrey bahut jaldi mein hoon! Baithne tak ki bhi fursat nahi hai.. 😉

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#15

Ek aadmi ghabraya hua police station pr aaya aur bola
Mujhe girftaar kr lijye main ne apni bivi k ser pr danda mara hai.
Inspctor: Kya woh mar gayi
Aadmi: Nahi wo danda lye mere peche aa rahi hai. 🙂

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#16

What is the advantage for unmarried people
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.
.
.
.
Think!
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.
.
.
.
Haar maanì
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
.
Wo bed k dono taraf se utar sakty hai 😉

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#17

Santa ne apni sagai tod di kyonki ladki kuwari thi
Santa: jo kisi ki na ho saki wo meri kya hogi!!!

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#18

How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb
Two.
One to screw in the light bulb, and one to not screw in the light bulb.

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#19

Munna bhai-abe circuit,1baat bata,agr bina daant ka kutta kisi ko kate to kya karte hai (Circuit bahut sochne k baad) Simple hai bhai,bina sui k 14 injection lagva do!! 🙂

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#20

Mummy: Beta kyun ro rahe ho
Beta: Papa ne mujhe kissi nahi di.
Mummy: Beta, aap ne papa ko tables nahi sunaye honge.
Beta: Kaam wali ko kaun se tables aate hein.

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#21

Life is just a fun,
It passes like none.
life we pass is just a game,
It finishes like a flame.
Life may be passed or made
Life may be happy or sad.
Life is knife for sad people,
It is a pretty world for mad people

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#22

When u fall in love there is no power to stop u,
But only one power that can stop u
Guess what
‘Abbey di juttian’..

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#23

1 baar 1 haathi swimming pool me gir gaya
usme chintiyan nha rahi sabhi chintiyan bahar nikal aayi 1 chinti hathi ke sharir par rah gyi
sabhi bolne lagi
dooba saale ko ladkiyo ko chhedta hai

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#24

A boy was following a girl.
Girl: ,don’ t follow me, because my mother is coming behind you’
Boy: ‘don’ t worry, my father is following her’.

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#25

kisi ne dil badal liya,kise ne dhakan badal li,aap ke paas kuch nahin tha aap ne mandir me jakar chappal badal leee.

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#26

Innocnt joke of the day… Ek bar terro$ist ne budiya ke pas bomb rakh diya. Log chillaye- ‘Budiya bomb hai’ Woh sharmakar boli ‘Aray woh to me jawani m thi

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#27

Teacher : If We Don’t Give Water To Cow, Then What Happen…
Bunty : Then We Will Get Milk Powder…!!!

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#28

aap kitne sundar
*
*
sushil
*
*
saral
*
*
sache hain
aur hum hein ki
jhut pe jhut
bole ja rahe hein……….

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#29

A girl ask to moulvi! can i kiss a man
moulvi says: astaghfirullah! astaghfirullah!
girl: can i kiss a boy
moulvi: laahulawala quwata . . .
girl: can i kiss u
moulvi: Bismillahh bismillah

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#30

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

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#31

An Engineering
Question paper .
What is the solution
for 2+2.
Options :
A) 4
B) Four
C) IV
D) 4.0
Now you realise
Why Engineers
get arrears. !

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#32

computer teacher askeda kid: what r d 3 version of java kid says: Mar java, Mit java , lut java ishqme dil kya jan v tera nam kar java.

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#33

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America
Class: Maria did.

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#34

Banta built 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled
When asked him, he said,
Oye, that’ s for those who don’ t know Swimming.

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#35

2 boys follow 2 girls
The grls turned back and tied rakhi to each of them.
then the boys said 2 themselves u marry ur sister and i’ll marry ur sister!

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#36

LADKI WALE=BETA-DRINK KARTEHO JI HAAN JUA/SATTA JI HAAN DANGA-FASAD JI HAAN SARI NGETIVE BATEIN,KUCH POSITIVE BHI HAI HIV

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#37

Jab kisi ka bura waqt aata he,
To uske sare Dost aur Pariwar uske Sath
khade hote he..
Yakeen na ho to kisi ki shaadi k photo dekh lo 😉

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#38

kabhi wafa se pyaar mt krna
Q mt karna maare jaoge
Q maare jaoge
Qki wafa OSAMA ki .bati ka naam hai….

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#39

Banta- Tumhara Bhai Gora Aur Tum Kale Kaise Ho

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#40

Santa- Kyo K.. Me Raat Ko Paida Hua Tha Aur Wo Subah Hua Tha..!!

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#41

Wafa se pyar mat karna….
Kyun mat karna..
Bemaut maare jaaoge…
Kyun maare jaaoge
Kyunki,WAFA Osama bin laden ki beti hai.

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#42

Judge: Y U’ve stolen money 4m dis man
Santa: My lord I’ve nt stolen money. He jst gave it 2 me
Judge: Whn He gave U money
Santa: Whn I showd him gun ;->

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#43

Dad:Why aren’t you doing well in history Pappu:Because the Teacher keeps on asking things that happened before my birth

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#44

Q: during marriage ceremony why the man is sitting on a horse or a car. ans:god gives a last chance’bhag sakta ho toh bhag ja beta’.

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#45

WIFE: Tum Ne Kabhi Socha Hai K Meri Shaadi Kisi Aur Se Ho Jaati To Kya Hota ‘
HUSBAND: Nahi, Main ne kabhi Kisi Ka Bura Nahi Socha…!

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#46

The first gush of chilly winds!
The familiar anticipation of long walks!
cold nose, numb feet, warm breaths!
The fog!
The vermillion tree leaves!
Oranges, Coffee, Friends!
“The best is yet to come”
Thats the message winters bear..
So make lasting memories..!
Happy January !

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#47

1 pathan ka sir phat gaya
pathan se Dr. ne pocha:-
khan sahab kia howa
Khan:Hum pather se keel thok raha tha,
hum ko 1 admi bola khan KHOPRI istimal kero

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#48

Two beggars met. Two software engineers met. Both asked the same question to each other. Guess What ‘So Which platform are u working on

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#49

Nawab to his Begam
Hata Lo Apne Chehre Se Ye Zulfe
O Jaane tamanna…
Agli baar Khaane me Baal Aaya to Gangi Kar Dunga

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#50

Larki Waley : Aap Ka
Beta Kia Kerta Hy
Larke Ki Maa
Mera Beta 3 Rs
Mein 500 Sms
Kerta Hy … ;->