Jokes – Set 80 – 2017

#1

Dear [bride’s name],Isn’t it quite funny how History repeats itself [Bride’s Age] years ago your Mother and Father were putting you to bed with a dummy…and now it’s happening all over again

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#2

Boys attitude!A boy wen proposes a girl If she says YES,thenPata ni kenia nu haan kiti honi If she says NO,thenBandri apne ap nu Ashwarya Rai samjdi ae….

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#3

Boy: Do you like parties Girl: Yes, why Boy: Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!

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#4

Boss: Raabert!Robert: Yes, BossBoss: Yeh bus mein kuch hawa daal do.Robert: Lekin, kyon bass Boss: Yeh bus Airbus ban jayegi

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#5

B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.Submitted by Cl udia AlmeidaA: Why are you crying B: The elephant is dead.A: Was he your pet B: No, but I’m the one who must dig his grave.

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#6

Are you male or female To find the answer, look down!!!

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#7

Aik larki darzi ki dukan pa jati hai aur pochti hai, G yah galay miltay hain Darzi: waisay galay miltay tou nahi hain laykin ap kahti hain tou mil laytay hain.

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#8

Agar… MUSHARRAF,SHAUKAT,ALTAAF,BENAZEER,NAWAZ,FAZAL,QAZI aek kashti main duub rahay hoon tho kon bachay ga Guess.. Guess!’PAKISTAN’

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#9

A: Why are you crying B: The elephant is dead.A: Was he your pet B: No, but I’m the one who must dig his grave.

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#10

A: I have the perfect son.B: Does he smoke A: No, he doesn’t.B: Does he drink whiskey A: No, he doesn’t.B: Does he ever come home late A: No, he doesn’t.B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he A: He will be six

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#11

A horse walks into a bar.The barman says ‘why the long face ‘.

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#12

A Grl & a Boy were sitting alone.D Boy started touching D grl.Grl:dnt touch me,All this only aftr marriage. Boy:Ok,call me aftr marriage.

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#13

A girl ph1d me T oTr day & said ‘Come no over, Tre’s nobody home’.I went over. Nobody was home.

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#14

A For’ …Teacher : A for Sardar : AppleTeacher : zor se bolo…!Sardar : JAY MATA DI…!!!

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#15

A blonde walked into a barOUCHH!!!

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#16

2day, 2morrow & 4ever, there will be 1 heart that would always beat 4 u. U know whose YOUR OWN

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#17

1admi ne bhgwan se puchha100 SAAL APKE LIYE KYA HAIGOD-100 saal mere liye 1 sec. K brabr hai.Man-1 CRORE RSGod-1 coinMan-1coin muje dedoGOD-1sec ruk ja’

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#18

(To the tune of ‘Yesterday’)Leprocy, bits and pieces falling off of me,I’m not half the man I used to be,Oh I contracted Leprocy.

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#19

((( )))))) (((( ) ( ))))(((((; <._.> ;)))))(((((( __, ))))))Dont u ever send me your picture again! u scared me to death!

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#20

‘ve known many,Liked not a few,Loved only one,I toast to you.

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#21

‘Spell SPOT three times.”S P O T , S P O T , S P O T”What do you do when you come to a green light ‘

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#22

‘I was born in California.”Which part ”All of me.’

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#23

‘CELLO ‘The pen of india.’LUX’The soap of india.’Amul’The taste of india. ‘I’The best in india. ‘You’Time waste of india… 🙂

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#24

‘Are you an organ donor ”No, but I once gave an old piano to the Salvation Army.’

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#25

‘A’ ki Biwi ‘B’,’B’ ki Bhabhi ‘C’,’C’ ki beti ‘V’,’V’ ka dada ‘G”G’ ki biwi ‘K’,’K’ ki beti ‘T’,To batao ‘A’ or ‘T’ ka kya rishta hua Reply only in 2 Minutes…

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#26

””””””)9mm/”’/&/”””/ /I KILL PEOPLE”’ FOR MONEY,(>’<)( 'o' ) BUT YOU(,) (,) ARE MY(')_(') FRIEND, SO I KILL YOU FOR NOTHING!!!.

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#27

!!!One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

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#28

Will, Marry, I & U are going for a party. Whats the best & worst arrangement u can make. Did u get… Best: Will, U, Marry, Me Worst: I, Will, Marry, U

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#29

Wht’s d similarity between a girl & petrol 1. both r explosive 2. both r hot 3. both r dangerous when kept in open

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#30

R mosquitoes religious YES They first sing over u & then prey on you

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#31

J 13 khayal 20 na aaway80 udaas ho jaanday aanTay 100 20 nai sakday chalo a 10 diyok tusi 20 saanu inna e yaad karday o ya roz 32 band kar k 100 janday o

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#32

Ishq bande di jaat o loko,Te yaari bande da imaan.Ishq ta mange sir di baazi,Te yaari mange dil-jaan.Ishq ch banda mitt janda a,Te yaari ch ho janda kurbaan.Ishq nachave gali galite yari nachave jahan.Vekhi dowa nu chhed na baithi,je ek vich dena painda sirte duje ch hateli te rakhni paindi jaan.

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#33

ISHQ da jisnu khwaab aa janda ae,waqt samjho khraab aa janda ae,mehboob aave ya na aavepar taare ginan da hisaab aa janda ae!

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#34

Assa vaang musafir tur jaana,teri mehfil sada abaad rahe,kade do-chaar hanju dol lavi,jekar tenu saadi yaad rahe!

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#35

Massa massa si aayi mautik hor hii adchan pe gayioh kal milan da vaada kar gayisaanu umar vdhaani pe gayi

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#36

Ek Hathi ne Romantic mood mein ek Chunti ko chera, Chunti gussay mein Hathi ki bivi ke pass ja ke boli, Apnay AWARA SHOHAR ko smjha lo Warna MARD hamaray ghar mein bhi hein.

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#37

Teacher : Where is Himalaya Kid: I don”t know. Teacher: Stand on the desk. Kid: Still I can”t see.

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#38

Son : Papa, Aapko Yaad Hai Apne Kaha Tha Agar Me Exam Me Paas Ho Jayunga To Mujhe 5000Rs Doge. Father : Haan. Son : Good News he, Apke 5000Rs Bach Gaye.

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#39

Ek ghar se hr waqt hasne ki awaz ati thi. Ek sahab us ghar gye ta k itni khush-gwar zindgi ka raz malom ho sake. Shohar ny bataya: meri biwi mujhe jootey se marti hai lag jaye to wo hasti hai,na lage to mein hasta hun.

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#40

story of kisses.. when you kiss an american girl she said.. kiss me hard.. indian girl : kiss me soft.. pakistani girl : jaidi karo ammi aajaya gi..

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#41

Ek Beggar nE Darwazay Per Dastak Di, Admi Ne Andr Se Poch Kon Faqeer:ALlAh Ka Mehman. Ye Sun Kr Wo Admi FaqeEr kA Hath Pakr Kr Masjid Le gYa, or Bola Apko Galti Hui Hai. ALLAH Ka Ghar yE HaI. . .

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#42

1 Pathan Ki Chappal Kisi Ne Chura Le,

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#43

Pathan: Station Jany K Kitne Paise Logay

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#44

Ek faqeer bachi se

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#45

musEum mE dO kHopri pari thi.

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#46

1 Hathi Romantic mood mei 1 chunti ko cherta hai. chunti ghusay mei Hathni k pas ja k kehti he:

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#47

An Elephant meets an Ant.

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#48

Wife:Please bike taze na chalao

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#49

1 Police officer bachey se: Beta: Kia tumhare abu “Al Qaida” mein hain Bacha: Uncle! Mujhe abu ka tu nahin pata per mein . . “Noorani Qaida” pe hoon

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#50

1 memon subha so ko utha to dekha ke uski biwi mar gaye hay.