Jokes – Set 94 – 2017

#1

Teacher: Ek Saal Main Kitni Raatain Hoti Hai?Aman :10 Raatain Hoti Hai!Teacher: 10 Raatain Kaise ?Aman: 9 Navaratri Aur 1 Shivratri….

—– —
#2

7-chatai par 7-sadhu bethe the,1 Aadmi ne sbse bade sadhu sepucha-‘Baba Ladkiya line nhideti ky karu?Sadhu(chote sadhu se )- 1 chataiaur laga bhai ke liye.

—– —
#3

Maa: Beta ya Kar Rahe Ho??Beta: Padh Raha Hoon.Maa: Shabash! Kya Padh Rahe Ho??Beta: Ji, Film Shole Ki Story..

—– —
#4

1 ladka ladki ka picha kr raha thagirl-Tumhe pata hai piche meri maa aa rahi hai Boy-hum to khandani aashik hai teri maa kay piche mera baap bhi aa raha hai

—– —
#5

santa apne jeb mai ek patthar le kar ghum raha tha…, usne ek se pucha tha ki kyon le kar ghum rahe ho. to bola jiska jeb bhari hota hai usi ka name chalta hai

—– —
#6

aaj mere paas mobile hai, no hai, battery hai, balance hai, tumahre pass kya hai? agar hai koi msg to bhejo.. agar nahi to mobile becho.

—– —
#7

SANTA-KYU RO RAHE HO BANTA- MERI MURGI MAR GAYISANTA- TO KYA HUYA MERA BAAP BHI MARA THALEKIN ME NHI ROYABANTA -ABE TERA BAAP KYA ANDE DETA THA

—– —
#8

Teacher:me ksi pe 1 nazar dal k bta skte hun k wo mere bare mai kya soch rha heStudent:mis jb ap ko pata chal jata hoga to bari sharmindagi hoti hogi na.

—– —
#9

Sharma dial a no. & hear, iss call ke liye aapka balance kafi nahi hai.’sharma: koi baat nahi jaane man tumse baat ho gai bas itna hi kafi hai.

—– —
#10

sonu-yaar,maine gf ko sms kiya ki main raat ko aaunga…raat me geya to wo kisi aur k sath thimonu man chota mat kar yaar msg nhi mila hoga

—– —
#11

father-beta tumne college me sabse mushkil kaam koun sa sikha?beta-2 kaam sikhe.1 danto se bear ki bottal kholna.2 tez aandi me 1 tilli se cigerete jalana

—– —
#12

teacher ne bachhe ki copy par note likha kripya bachhe ko nahalakar bheja kare.bachhe ki mom ne note padne ke bad likha kar bheja bachhe ko padaya kare sungha na kare

—– —
#13

JATT ka intezar to 11 colgs ki ladkiyaan kar rahi hain lekin jatt ka aana mushkil he nahi namumkin hai, kyunki?jattkank nu paani de reha hai.

—– —
#14

ragging ke waqt ladko ne 1 ladki se kaha,1 sawal ka jawab do-patna kahan par hai?ladki-bihar meinboys-yahin pat jao itne dur jaane ki kya jarurat hai….!

—– —
#15

Santa ne Banta se kaha,”Sabse bada challenge kya hai?”Banta replied – Answer sheet ko khaali chod do aur last me likh dena,paas karke dikha.

—– —
#16

Banta to Doctor : Doctor Sahab! Mein apna dimag daan karna chahta hu.Doctor : Hoga to hum le lenge .

—– —
#17

Sir: Wo Teen Words Batao Jo Subse Jyada Bole Jate Hain ?STUDENT: Mujhe Nahi Pata….Sir: Shaabash Beta, Baith Jao..!

—– —
#18

Husbnd: Kya tumne mujhe KUTTA kaha?No answerHusbnd again asks, No answerThen again he asks,Wife: Nahi kaha. Plz AB bhoka na bandh karo

—– —
#19

Ho gai Karachi University mein Faraz ki pitai,Kyun k relly thi jamiat ki aur wo keh raha thaAltaf Bahi…Altaf Bhai… =P 😉

—– —
#20

PATHAN naqli note lekar shop pr surf lene gaya,SHOP KEEPER: is mein quaid-e-Azam ki topi nahi haiPATHAN:topi meili pari hai usi k liye to surf lene aya hon.

—– —
#21

Bap-Aj tak tumne aisa koi kam nahi kia jisse mera sir uncha ho gaya hoBeta-yad kar Ke papa ek dafa Maine apke sir kniche 3takye rakhe the 😉

—– —
#22

Texi Wala-Sir SorryMai Meter Chalu Karna Bhul Gaya ThaAb Kitna Bhada Lu?GOLU-Oye Praji Koi Gal NhiMaii B Apna Batva Bhul Gaya Hu

—– —
#23

Aaj Maine ek Jaan Bachai,Pucho Kaise?Ek Bhikhari Ko Maine Pucha1000 Ka Note Du To Kya Karega?Wo Bola-Khushi Se Mar Jauga!To maine use paise nahi diye..!

—– —
#24

A bus fell in a lake,every1 swam across,den sudnly MARWADI JUMPS in searches 4 some1,when askd whom is he searching?Marwadi: sala conductor change nahidiya@

—– —
#25

Karan Johar ka kamaal to dekhokuch kuch-luv ur frenzK3G-Luv ur parentsKal ho na ho-Luv ur neighborsKANK-luv others’ wifen nwDOSTANA-luv d same gendr;-)

—– —
#26

SANTA- maine apni biwi ko 12th karwayiFir B.Sc,Fir M.Sc,Fir usko job b lagwa di.Ab OR kya karWAU?BANTA- acha sa ladka dekh k shadi b karde

—– —
#27

Wife:Meine’GADHO’ par research ki Hai,wo apni’GADHI’ke siwa kisi aur ‘GADHI’ ko dekhta tak nahi!HUSBAND:Issliye to wo’GADHA

—– —
#28

1 Pathan Ko Road pe say 100 Rupay Ka note milaJis par likha tha,,… ‘Eid Mubarak’PatHan Ne Note Pocket mein dala or Bola’khair Mubarak’ ;p :

—– —
#29

1 Banda Bus me 1 Molvi ko daikh krdarty darty pochta hai.“Movi sab,Ap??????Dam Darood waalay Molvi ho , ya bomb BArood walalay.. ?

—– —
#30

Munnabhai: Circuit ye sonu kaun hai?Circuit:Bhai mast ladka he bole to A un kanjuso ko Bhi SMS bhejta hai jo ise nahiBhejte.

—– —
#31

Santa Ka Darwaza Zor Se Baja.Wo Ghusse Se Darwaze Pr Gaya Aur Bola:’Kon Gadhe Ka Bacha Hai?Bahar Se Aawaz Aai:..Papa Mai Hu. 🙂

—– —
#32

Banta to Lawyer: What is your fees?Lawyer: Rs 5000/- for 3 questions.Banta: Isn’t it too high?Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question?

—– —
#33

1 Admi ne 1 udas pathan se pocha:Khan sahab ap q udas hai?Pathan: aj hum koN.W.F.P ka Mutlab pata chal gayaAdmi: wo kiya??Udas Pathan“NO WOMEN FOR PATHAN”

—– —
#34

Pathan raat ko Machardani laga karso raha tha:Achanak ek Jugnoo aa nikla…….Pathan: Lo ye khocha machar humkoTorch le kar dondh raha hai.

—– —
#35

santa: uth…uth… bhukamp aa raha h…banta: soja.. soja.. makaan girega to makaan maalik ka girega, hum to kirayedar hain…

—– —
#36

Neil Armstrong lands on Moon & sees two men !!!!!Asks them: Who are you ?????Reply !!!!!*************************Deepak Chourasiya with Cameraman Santosh from Aaj Tak !!!!!

—– —
#37

munna bhai: amirican rastrapati sala kaha rehta hai….?circut: dhobigath pe….munna bhai: dhobigath bole to…..?circut: bhai englih main usko washington kehte hai….

—– —
#38

Patni- Mobile,Pati- Sim Card,Dono Mile To Hua Reacharge,Beta Hua To Incoming,Beti Hue To Outgoing,Two in One Hua To Bonus Talktime,Kuch Nahi Hua To Network Problem.

—– —
#39

S: Premika ne aisi maang rakhi k Maine Use chhod diyaB: Lekin uski Mange Kya ThiS: Shadi Ki

—– —
#40

Girl-papa,ek ladka mjhe bar bar i love u bol raha h,kya karu? Father-beta usse shadi karle zindagi bhar agar dobara bolde to mera naam badal dena..

—– —
#41

GOLU Ne A.C LgwayaMOLU-Apko To Sardi Bahut Lagti He?GOLU-Oye Mene Ulta Lgwaya HeGaram Hwa Andar Or Thndi Hawa Bahar Jati Hai

—– —
#42

Makan Malik-Mai tumko kiraya dene k liye aur 3 din ki mohlat deta hu Std-Theek hai ji, Main Diwali Holi Or Chrismas ke 3 din select karta Hun

—– —
#43

Ek pathan ka school main 7th class main new admision howa . Teacher.beta batao Allama iqbal koN hain? Pathan.hum ko kya pata hum to school mai naya hai..

—– —
#44

Pathan Larki Se: I Love You. Larki: Tameez Se Baat Karo. Pathan: ‘Assalam-o-Alaikum’ I Love You. 🙂

—– —
#45

Waiter: Khan sahb, 10 Rs tip to meri insult hy.. Khan: To phir..? Waiter: 20 Rs to hon.. Khan: Main tumhari double insult nhi kr skta..!!

—– —
#46

Teacher, gul khan tum class mein topi kiun phan kar aay ho Gul khan, teacher kisi ko pata na chalay kay mery dimag mein kia chal raha hai…=P;-)

—– —
#47

Pathan: Mere Mohalley Wale Bohat Kanjoos Hein. Dost: Kiun? Pathan: Sab Ne 14 Aug Manai Par Kisi Ne Qurbani Ka Gosht Nahi Bheja;-)

—– —
#48

A Pathan teacher gives dictation test to students, Last bench students: We are not able to hear you SIR, Pathan : ‘OK I’LL WRITE ON THE BOARD .,..,..,..,!

—– —
#49

Bhikari: ALLAH k nam pr kch de do. Pathan 100 ka note dikhaty huy bola: kia tmhary pas 50 hai? Bhikari: khushi se g hain Pathan: to kocha pehlay wo kharch kr

—– —
#50

Boy: Darling Humare Pyaar k bare me kisi ko mat batana, Girl: Priya ko to zaroor bataungi,kehti thi kon pagal hoga jo tujhse Pyaar krega!