Mama Jokes – Set 8 – 2017

#1

Yo Dentist is so poor she uses white-out/tippex as your tooth filler.

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#2

Yo’ Cleaner so poor she can’t afford a mop – she stands on her head in order to mop the floor…

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#3

Yo Poppa so poor his idea of Desert was to go outside and collect the ‘yellow snow’…and yo loved it, didn’t ya!

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#4

You Star Wars friend so insanely poor that I walked into his house, asked to use the bathroom, and he handed me a shovel saying: ‘May the force be with you.’

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#5

Yo Father so poor that when I aks him what for dinner, he take off his shoelaces and says – Spaghetti!

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#6

Yo older sis getting so poor she’s planning on getting married…just so she can get the rice at the wedding.

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#7

Your lecturer so poor he uses his cardboard box as a blackboard.

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#8

Yo’ so poor, you get more government handouts than an English farmer

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#9

Yo’ best friend so poor he have to fart just to get a scent (cent).

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#10

Yo Gossiping wife so poor she can’t even afford to put her two cents into this conversation…

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#11

Yo Grannie so poor that when I asked her what’s for dinner, she tried to throw ME in the oven!

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#12

Yo’ Mommy so poor I went over for dinner, saw 3 beans on the table…took one and she said – ‘Don’t be greedy!’

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#13

You Auntie’s so poor she gotta live in a 2-story Dorritos bag…

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#14

Yo big brother so freakin poor I stepped on his old banged up skateboard and he yelled – ‘Get off my F****in CAR’

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#15

Yo Computer geek friend so poor he uses a Commodore 64 to surf the web.

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#16

Your pimp so poor he just bought an imitation of a fake Rolex

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#17

Yo Reverand so poor the congregation run over animals outside the church just to help with food…

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#18

Yo Gardener’s so damn poor that when I pissed in his yard he thanked me for watering the lawn…

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#19

Yo Mama’s so damn poor, her front porch matt says ‘Wel’…

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#20

You so piss poor…hold on, you don’t have a pot to piss in or even a window to throw it out of…

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#21

Yo Uncle so poor I went into his house, swatted a pesky firefly and he screamed – ‘Who turned out the lights?’

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#22

Yo Nana so sickenly poor I walks into her house, asked to use the toilet and she hand me 2 large sticks. I ask what they’re for and she says: ‘Use one to hold up the ceiling…use the other to fight off the cockroaches…’

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#23

Yo half-sister so damn poor even the Republicans were willing to give her welfare.

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#24

Anything Yo’s….

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#25

Yo Mamma’s feet so skanky that when your family wants jam pieces, she gets yo brother to run a loaf of bread between her toes.

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#26

Yo’ Grannies neck so damn wrinkled, I use it as a cheese grater.

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#27

I got notin bad to say about Yo Momma – heck, her face says it all…

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#28

Your pet Cat so freakin nasty it bit ma dog and gave it rabies.

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#29

Yo Auntie so stinkin that a skunk smelled her butt and passed out.

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#30

Yo mama’s so poor, TV dinner trays are her good china.

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#31

Damn it, just realised that last yo is as old as the crust in yo Sister’s knickers…

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#32

You liked that mama joke didn’t ya? Good?…well, nowhere near as good as Yo Mama was last night 🙂

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#33

But, hey, if I wanted a comeback, christ, I’d just wipe it off Yo Mamma’s chin…

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#34

Yo Mama like a television – even a 2 year old can turn her on!

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#35

You brother so hairy Big foot is taking his picture..

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#36

Yo Mother in law so stinky she use Right Guard and Left Guard.

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#37

Your Grandpa’s so hairy, Jane Goodall follows him around.

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#38

Yo Star wars geeky friend so damn hairy, she’s a stunt double for Chewbacca and her baby daughter played the leader of the Ewoks (no makeup needed).

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#39

Yo English teacher so damn stupid, she failed a survey…

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#40

Yo Sista like a mailbox, open all day and all night…

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#41

Yo mama’s so clumsy, she got tangled up in a Mobile phone.

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#42

Yo mama’s like an elevator – blokes go up and down on her all day. Yo Mother in law so dmamnd Dislexus when I told her to go get some Head and Shoulders…she jump on top of me Shoulders and gave me head!!!

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#43

Your IM buddies so damn stanky, I can smell them over the interweb

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#44

Only job yo ever gonna get is as a blind bird-watcher.

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#45

Yo idiotic Doctor so damn greasy that he uses Bacon as a bandaid

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#46

Yo Dog so short it’s best friend is an Ant.

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#47

Yo Auntie so flat chested she jealous of the wall.

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#48

Yo girlfriend so cheap I threw her a penny for sex and she gave me change…

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#49

The first line in the Bible was mistranslated – it actually reads – ‘In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth and yo’ fat ugly Mama’

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#50

Yo Grandpa’s house so damned cold, the Roaches ice skate around the kitchen.